Entkommen die Vergangenheit
by fuyu-no-tsuki
Summary: AU. What if Al ended up on the other side of the gate instead of Ed? Could trying to fix their mistakes create the worst one of all? Rated M as in mature, or immature with odd fetishes. AlXHei. onesided Elricest. OOC Ed. Violence and non con
1. Lose And Gain

Description. AU. What if Al ended up on the other side of the gate instead of Ed? Could trying to fix their mistakes create the worst one of all? Shonen Ai. Elricest (eventually), AlXHei OOC Ed. Warning: Rated M for Lemon, Smut, Violence and Rape.

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. If it did this would either be an OVA or a fanfic about _another_ anime... Or FMA would be a Yaoi. Whatever works - (And the series would _definitely _be continued after the movie)

Author Note: Just so that you know, It may go into some things fast, stay there then say fine! I'm moving! And most of my stories should have the may contain spoilers warning. Including this one. Not that much since I made most of this up but it counts.

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**Chapter One **

**Lose And Gain**

The circle was now complete. The glowing Al stood inside, surveying it, checking for mistakes.

"This wasn't possible before but now that you've merged with the philosophers stone we can reconnect your body and spirit." Ed said

"Are you sure it'll work?"

"I wouldn't risk it if I thought it wouldn't but we're going into a part of alchemy that has rarely been used and with little to show for those that tried. The difference is that you're not dead so our chance is a lot better. If you want to wait and try another way then we can."

"No, there is no other way. I want my body back. I can't live in this empty shell one more night. I don't care if I finally enter the gate for good. I should have died so many times already..."

"Don't think that way Al. It's going to work."

Ed briefly wondered if he was being selfish, in his reason for wanting his brothers body back. He still remembered that night, before all this happened.

_No_. He told himself. He wanted Al back to normal for his brothers sake, not his own.

Nevertheless, after all this time, he still remembered perfectly the feel of his brothers lips, so wrong yet so wonderfully right. The surprised squeak Al made when Ed had kissed him, and the way he had seemed to melt into it, accepting in innocent curiosity.

Of course, at that age neither had thought of going farther than that and it had only been that one time, neither of them had ever spoken of it. But Ed couldn't get it out of his mind, even after five years.

Ed forced himself off this track of thought.

Ed clapped his hands together. "Ready?" Receiving an affirmative Ed places his hands on the circle and watched it light up.

The blue light traveled to his little brother and created symbols over Al, mixing with the pink light that emerged from his armor.

Ed blinked as it got brighter.

He ran to the fallen suit of armor. Why was it still here? Shouldn't his brothers body have appeared in it's place?

Opening the visor Ed stared in growing horror at the spot where the blood seal attaching soul to armor used to be and he realized his mistake.

He had sent Al's soul to his body, not called the body to the soul.

Ed would find his brother. Even if it killed him.

Slowly the room came into focus. He tried to think but everything was fuzzy.

XXX

He pulled himself up and looked around the small room. 

Strange electrical machines where hooked up to him. His first instinct was to rip them away but was frightened, he didn't know what would happen.

A woman wearing a white dress and apron walked in and gasped. "Doktor Cavanagh!" She yelled, staring as if she couldn't believe her eyes.

A man appeared in the door and took a double take of him and exclaimed. "Mein gott!"

He was beginning to feel uneasy.

Recovering the doctor shone a flashlight in his eyes "Was wissen sie?"

When he didn't answer he realized that his patient might not speak the same language as him so he switched to English. "Do you know where you are or why you're here?"

"No." His thought was scratchy.

"You're in a hospital. You've been our patient for several years. You where found unconscious and have been in a coma." The doctor checked his pulse. "Can you tell me you're name?"

"Uhm. Alphonse" For a moment it almost hadn't come to him. He tried to remember what had happened to cause the coma in the first place but nothing came. Even worse, he couldn't remember anything before that! He had remembered his name but he had no idea who he was!

"Do you have any family?"

"I don't know, why can't I remember?!"

"Don't worry, memory loss is common in coma patients when they wake up. It'll come back to you."

If the doctor had asked him if he had any family then did that mean he'd been here all this time and no one had come looking for him? If he had family nearby then surely it was impossible that he would be here and they didn't find him. Right at this moment Al felt that he couldn't feel more alone.

"We'll need to keep you overnight for observations. Normally after that we'd release you into your families custody to watch you but we may need to keep you longer until we find somewhere for you.

"Alright." What would he do? He had nowhere to go home to. Something struck him about that thought, like it wasn't a new one and it only seemed to reinforce the evidence that he was alone.

XXX

Doctor Cavanagh sat after work in the crowded pub. 

"What's the mater Cavanagh? Usually you can't stop talking." Heiderich swirled his drink absently.

"It's a patient. He just woke up from a coma so I should be happy but all he can remember is his name. To make things worse he doesn't seem to have any family. I can't let him go off alone without knowing why he was in a coma in the first place. Even if I did know I can't just let him wonder around with no place to go. If I have time tomorrow I'm going to show him around town and see if he remembers anything, maybe bring him to the spot where he was found. I don't know if I'll be able to though."

"If you want I'll go"

"Really? You sure?"

"I don't have anything better to do anyway."

"Thanks so much, I don't know how I would have done it." Almost as an afterthought he added. "And something odd. The boy speaks English, I think he must be American, but why would someone that age be here? Unless of course his family had moved here before the war started. I guess there are enough reasons, I just don't know which one."

"Do you suppose he's telling the truth about not remembering?"

"Yes I'm sure. I don't think he even knows where he is."

Heiderich supposed that it was a good thing he had learned English so that he would have a better range of knowledge. He had even spent a year in England.

XXX

Al sat on the bed, he had been given normal clothes and told that someone was coming to see him. Why he didn't know, something to do with his memory.

The man that came in was about seventeen. He looked nice enough. For some reason he had been expecting someone scary.

"Hi, I'm Heiderich. You're Alphonse right?"

He nodded.

"Did they tell you why I'm here?"

"They said something about getting my memory back. Are you a doctor?"

"No, I'm a friend of your doctor. I'm just going to show you around town and see if anything is familiar."

Al perked up. "We get to go outside?"

Heiderich laughed "It wouldn't be much of a tour if I only showed you the hospital."

Finally things seemed a bit better, and besides, maybe he would meet someone he knew.

XXX

Heiderich and Al walked the streets. Every once in a while Heiderich told him about something to do with the town. Al was enjoying himself but unfortunately everything he had seen so far was completely foreign to him. He was sure he had never been in this city before. 

Heiderich watched him closely, noting that Al's movements weren't as awkward anymore. It hadn't been that obvious but still noticeable.

The other thing was Al's voice. He spoke softly as if it was something he was unused to.

Spotting a book shop Al started walking to it. A memory teasing at his mind.

Heiderich followed "Have you been here before?"

"No. It's not the shop." It was something about the dusty old tomes. But what?

"Why don't we go in, maybe you used to read. Who knows, you might have worked at a library."

Library? He thought as they entered the rows of books. A huge library and there were people in uniforms. Not worked at, no "Research, we were looking for something."

"What else do you remember?"

"I don't know, it was just there then gone."

"You said you were looking for something, what was it and who was the person you were with?"

"I don't know. I can't." He rubbed his forehead. "Every time I think I remember something it seems harder to hold on to."

"Don't try to hard. Let it come of its own accord." Heiderich felt a wave of pity.

Al sighed and moved on, scanning the shelves. A book caught his attention. The title was worn but he could make out a circle. Something about the circle struck him. He opened the book _the first rule of-_

"No reading the books without purchase!" A decrepit voice rebuked.

He snapped the book shut with a start. Looking up guiltily he put the book back before continuing on.

XXX

They hadn't found anything else at the bookshop, Al was considering asking if they could take a break.

Alphonse saw a pail man with long dark hair tied back. The man was talking to someone and hadn't even looked their way but for some reason Al was afraid of him. If this man was from his past then he could do without that part of his memory.

He shifted so that Heiderich was between them and walked faster.

Heiderich caught his arm. "Do you know that man?"

"Not exactly. Can we go?"

"Maybe we should talk to him, see if he remembers you."

"No. Can we go please?" Al was getting desperate, he wanted to get as far away from the man as possible.

"Why? Maybe he can help. There are people everywhere, it'll be fine."

Alphonse looked terrified. He couldn't stop the tears that stung his eyes. "I don't want to go anywhere near that murderer!" Where had that come from? Somehow he knew it was true.

Heiderich pailed and lead him away. They went to a nearby park.

He sat Al on the bench. "What do you mean by a murderer?"

"Just that. I can't explain it but I know he killed a lot of people."

"Maybe we should go to the police... But we don't have any evidence." Heiderich sat on the bench beside him. "You look surprised."

"I thought you would say I was just remembering wrong or something."

"No, not with the reaction you had. He went after you didn't he?"

Al opened his mouth to speak but more memories came flooding back. The man was covered in blood. Fear. He had been alone, sure that death would come soon but he had been saved by someone who had died later. It came in broken pieces and still didn't help him remember who he was.

"I don't want to remember anymore, I think I'd be better off not knowing!" The tears that had earlier stung his eyes now flowed unchecked.

Heiderich pulled Al into an embrace. "It's ok." He murmured. "It' can't be all bad."

Al's body shook with sobs. Heiderich's comforting warmth seemed, at that moment, the only real thing. Everything else could have been a dream, or nightmare.

The realization that the person he trusted most in the world had only met him all of three hours ago made the tears come stronger.

He wasn't sure how long he had held him before Al's body final relaxed, worn out from crying and the strain of trying to remember.

"I'm sorry." Al managed. Face still buried against Heiderich's chest.

Heiderich didn't answer, he only held him tighter, knowing that just because the tears had abated didn't mean that the sorrow had too.

XXX

Al woke up. When had he fallen asleep?

Heiderich sat leaning back, his arms resting on the back of the bench, gazing at the sky.

Blushing Al realized that he had been using the others lap as a pillow.

He sat up, feeling drained but not as empty as he thought he would.

"Feeling better?" Heiderich was still leaning back but was now looking at him.

Al managed a weak smile and nod.

Casually Heiderich reached out and traced his fingers down the side of Alphonse's face.

Al was startled by the feeling that overcame him. He had never felt anything like it before.

Seeing the reaction Heiderich cupped Al's chin and pulled him closer, loving the way Al had bit his lip and flushed.

For a moment Al froze, mind racing. Then melted into it.

It was wonderful. So sweet and gentile. He felt the tongue probing, parting his lips. Al opened his mouth wider allowing Heiderich full access.

Heiderich tilted Al's head farther back and the kiss turned passionately hungry.

Al was breathing heavily by the time they parted, Heiderich's mouth hovering near his. He was shivering with want, lips swollen from kissing.

It hadn't been like this before. The thought came and slipped away before Alphonse even had time to register it.

Al tangled his fingers in Heidreich's hair and kissed him in an unsure manner. Wet lips innocently exploring. He didn't know how it happened but he was laying on the grass. Heiderich above him, hands finding all the best places.

He moved restlessly under Heiderich's body. A moan escaped him as Heiderich 'accidently' brushed up against him as he nibbled Al's lip then trailed wet kisses down his neck. Biting and lapping at the younger's soft skin.

Al arched against him, pulling him closer so that they were pressed together causing Heiderich's pulse to quicken at the feel of Al's pliant body.

He found Al's tender mouth once more.

When they parted Heiderich lay on his back. They were afforded privacy by the trees and bushes. He was glad that no one came to this park until later.

Al snuggled against him and Heiderich wrapped his arms around him.

"What are we going to do?" Al asked thinking of all the complications and afraid that Heiderich wouldn't think it was worth it.

How was it possible for this to happen so fast?

"I'm going to tell Dr. Cavanagh that you can stay with me."

"Really?" Al brightened and kissed him.

Heiderich knew that if he didn't stop the kiss right now he wouldn't be able to stop later.

He didn't stop.

XXX

Al had fallen asleep again. They were covered by their coats. 

Heiderich heard Al say his name then murmur something. If he had heard right they were both in trouble because, he realized, he felt the same way.

Soon he drifted off to sleep too.

Awakening Al blushed at the thought of what had passed between them not long ago. Heiderich's hard slick body over him, thrusting- He made himself snap out of it. 

Heiderich was still asleep. Al smiled. He looked so peaceful. Looking at him made his heart ache (in a good way)

He had been so sad before but now it seemed that everything would get better. It didn't mater if he had no memories, he could make new, better ones.

Heiderich stirred and woke up, planting a kiss at the corner of Al's mouth. "I should get you back to the hospital. They'll think I kidnaped you."

"I wouldn't mind"

Heiderich laughed. "Get dressed."

Instead Al sat, knees on either side of the others thighs. "Now?"

Heiderich made a noise in his thought and cupped Al's bottom, waiting until he knew Al couldn't bare the lack of further contact then spun so Al was beneath him and entered him at the same time, pleased with Al's cry.

He moved quick and hard. Panting as he moved in and out, withdrawing as far as he could before slamming back in.

Al bit his lip, turning the rest of his cries to whimpers. His nerves were still frayed from before. God, he hopped this never ended.

Al moved with Heiderich's strokes. Uncontiousaly clasping him and moving so that Heiderich could enter deeper.

If it was possible Heiderich was becoming more aroused as he watched Alphonse's colour rise, a sheen of sweat breaking out. Gasping and crying out louder with each quick stroke, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Al didn't care how much it hurt he wanted more. Making insistent noises in the back of his thought Al clawed at Heiderich's back. He begged for more, calling out for Heiderich not to stop, never stop. Or at least he though he did, he wasn't sure.

He felt Alphonse building towards a crescendo and quickened his thrusts. A sob escaped Al and he kissed him, taking the whimpers into himself and moaned. The vibration making Al arched against Heiderich, responding with more heat as their tongues clashed.

Heiderich roughly jerked once more into Alphonse, as hard and far as he could. Al cried out one last time and the world shattered around them.

Heiderich lay limply on top of Al, softly nibbling his shoulder.

Al shakily stroked Heiderich's hair, then shoulders and back. Memorizing every inch, just incase.

Heiderich pulled himself up enough to give Alphonse a tenderly apologizing kiss. He had made sure to be careful the first time. The second had been much more rough, he knew he had hurt him. Al held his head there as they kissed telling him he didn't mind. Heiderich questioningly ran his hands over Al, who smiled softly, both wanting still more, insatiable.

Heiderich greedily lapped, kissed and nibbled Al's sensuous body. "What do you want?" He whispered huskily into Al's ear, sending erotic shivers down his spine.

"More, you. I want you!"

Heiderich claimed his mouth, deciding that this velvet part of heaven was his favorite spot. Or was it that place on Al's neck that drove him wild. He decided he had to check to make sure.

Al wailed "Please! Do something!"

It was so hard to decide. He wondered how good a reaction he could get from this one spot. Putting all his effort into it he drove Al out of his mind.

It was impossible to understand what Al was saying at this point.

Al began making sharp sobbing sounds. Moving his hips without realizing.

His moans and pleading cutting off as he started to gasp.

Deciding that this might be his favorite spot after all he made sure not to stop as he reached down and ran his fingers along Al's length.

Heiderich took Al's scream into his mouth as he came away from his neck.

Heiderich bit Al's neck and shoulder, running his hands up and down Al's back.

"_Alphonse_." Hiederch's voice was heavy with lust.

"Oh god Heiderich, do something now!"

He took a different approach from last time and slowly slid into him.

Al let out a hiss of pleasure.

Still going slowly he slid out, then in, then out,

"Heiderich!"

Then in,

"_Heiderich!!!!"_

then out,

"HEIDERICH!!!"

He could feel the tension vibrating through Al's muscles.

Nipping Al's neck again he entered him harder and quicker. Suckling at the spot he had bitten.

Al bit his hand and moaned loudly, Heiderich's low laugh wonderfully arousing.

He left Al before either climaxed and lowered his head taking him in his mouth.

Al couldn't breath as he was surrounded by Heiderich's wet, warm mouth. He thought he would die when he swirled his tongue and took him deeper.

The mewing noises Al made reminded him of a kitten.

Al bucked when Heiderich's chuckle traveled through him.

He tried to pull away when he knew he had reached the end of his limits but Heiderich held him steady. Taking Alphonse's essence into his mouth. Al made a contend purring noise as Heiderichs tongue passed over him, once, twice, before finally lifting his head. Eyes half closed and bright blue had turned deep.

Al's heart couldn't stop pounding.

Heiderich gently probed. Al could taste himself on the others mouth.

Al responded ardently to him. flicking his tongue along Heiderich's lip, then nibbling like had been done to him.

No matter how long they kissed it didn't turn hot or desperate. It somehow wasn't about lust, both were relaying a message of cautious affection to the other. They had experience something they didn't fully understand.

Heiderich gathered Al to him in one more embrace. Laying intertwined with each other, Al's eyes contently closed.

Al whispered Heiderich's name once more in such a manner that he knew the one who spoke it hadn't even been aware.

Heiderich smiled and wisped hair away from Al's damp forehead. "Oh Alphonse..." He felt his smile waver as the tightness in his chest increased.

He tenderly touched the others warm cheek then brushed it with his lips and his affectionate smile became once more steady.

Al's eyes fluttered open, looking up at him from beneath his lashes and his heart skipped a beat.

He grasped one of Al's hands and brought it up to kiss then pinned both of Al's hand's above his head and made love more tenderly then any of the other times.

XXX

He lay sprawled across Heiderich, who had been drawing a circle on Al's back. They whispered to each other about everything and nothing. 

Seeing his lids droop Heiderich flattened his palm against Al's back. "You can't go to sleep darling. We have to go soon."

Al sighed. It wasn't that he was tired per say, it was just that Heiderich was so comfortable, his steady heartbeat had been lulling him to some much needed sleep.

He squirmed, making himself more comfortable and felt the heart beat sped up.

Al began lazily tracing a path down Heiderich's stomach with his finger tips. Heiderich caught his hand.

"At this rate we'll never leave." Heiderich stood, stopping to gaze down at Alphonse, who was still laying on the grass watching him with a grin. He had gotten what he wanted.

Al looked him over, the first time he could take all of the blond in.

Heiderich stood, waiting for Al to take his fill.

He watched captivated as Al licked his lips and closed his eyes. A serene expression on his face and he knew exactly what Al was thinking.

Heiderich also knew that if he waited a few moments longer, the lost Alphonse would slide his hand down his soft skin and reach his goal, bitting into his rosy lip, squeezing his eyes shut tighter... Heiderich bit the inside of his cheek. Feeling himself becoming aroused.

Sure enough Al made a soft noise that was almost enough to bring Heiderich to the edge, and his hand began to do exactly as Heiderich had thought.

He caught his breath and knelt beside Al. Taking Al's free hand and careful not to disturb his revere, Heiderich brought the delicate wrist to his mouth and began kissing it. He sucked at it until Alphonse groaned and pumped himself harder. The pink flush coming back.

He was breathing raggedly just watching and he wondered if there was time for one more go.

Alphonse found his release and they sighed at the same time.

Heiderich took Al's other hand and brought it to his mouth.

Al watched as Heiderich licked the fluid from his hand, blushing deeply at their realization of what he had done.

Heiderich just smiled his tranquil smile then spread Al's fingers and turned his attention back to what he was doing.

Al bit the tip of his thumb. Watching wide eyed as Heiderich shamelessly lapped at his palm. Their eyes meeting and locking as his tongue took long luxurious stokes and Al thought of what else he'd like that done to.

Heiderich finally finished and pressed the now damp hand against his cheek and quietly said "You're wonderful, perfect. Alphonse..." Closing his eyes he felt the hand taken away then return as both framed his face and feather soft kisses rained onto every inch of his face.

Soon he was on his back, letting Al have his way.

A sweetly languid lethargy had fallen over them. They didn't want to go all the way, just foreplay, or after play, whatever it was called. They didn't care at that moment.

The listlessness eventually vanished and they began kissing and fumbling as if it were their first time.

If this continued they really would never leave.

Sighing Heiderich grabbed his pants and pulled them on.

Heiderich helped Al up. Holding him until his legs could support him. Al shivered at the simple touch.

"Do we have to go back so soon?"

"I'm going to make a phone call." He happened to know that there was a phone near by. "Do you want to wait here?"

Al nodded, starting to look tired again.

Heiderich walked the five minute distance to the phone booth and called the hospital. They had him hold for the doctor. "Hello?" Came a voice on the other side of the line.

"Hi doctor."

"Oh! Heiderich! How's it going? I was starting to worry."

"Sorry, but we seemed to loose track of the time. I'm not sure if he's ready for his memory yet. I don't know what happened but it must have been bad."

The doctor sighed "I see. And I still haven't found anyone to take care of him either." He sighed again.

"Actually that was the reason I called. I was wondering if he could stay with me."

"Are you sure it's not to much trouble?" Cavanagh couldn't hide the hopeful note in his voice.

"Not at all, I think he's grown on me." That was an understatement.

"Well if it's ok with you then I'm fine with it!" He could almost picture the doctor bouncing on the other side of the line. "You can come by tomorrow to get his things, he didn't have much."

They said farewell then disconnected. He wondered what Al had and if he had seen any of it yet.

Al had dressed and was resting tangled in the coats that they had used for blankets.

He stretched and sat up at his approach.

"Why don't we get something to eat then go home?"

Al was clinging to him so fast he didn't see it coming. Heiderich's rich laughter warmed the ecstatic Al. He had forgotten the chill that had begun to fill the air.

All Al could think was _home_. He didn't care where it was, as long as Heiderich was there.

"Ready to go?"

Al nodded

"Good." He brushed a hand down Al's jaw and neck. The wanted result was instantaneous. Heiderich turned and left.

It took a moment for Al to follow. When he caught up he cast an accusing glare that melted into a smile as Heiderich slipped his hand into Al's and squeezed his fingers.

XXX

Al walked into the hall surprised. 

The house was fairly large considering that only one person lived in it. And it was clean. One would think a seventeen year old living on his own would have clothes and the such randomly strewn about.

He was given a brief tour of the house.

"You look tired, why don't you go to bed, I'll be up later."

Heiderich hugged him and watched him clime the stairs, the bedroom had been apart of the tour. Of course there were two and if anyone asked Al had the other room, but he really would be sleeping in Heiderich's bed.

The thought of the brown haired angel curled up in his bed made him wish he didn't have so much work to do. He grinned. The good thing about this house was that he had no neighbors, so Al could make all the noise he wanted. He went to his desk and pulled out the book he needed to finish memorizing and some sheets of paper and a pencil, they were starting a new stage with developing the rocket tomorrow.

He quickly became engrossed in his work.

Al lay under the crisp sheets staring at the sealing. He couldn't fall asleep after all that had happened today. His mind kept jumping from one thing to another. He wondered if it was normal for him not to sleep well.

At the hospital he had only pretended to sleep the night before. The only time he fell asleep was when he had worn himself out from crying, and again, from other things. But after that, once again, though he was tired he couldn't actually fall asleep. Though he came close a few times.

He felt his head begin to pound but didn't really care.

Giving up he went downstairs to see Heiderich.

He watched him for a few moments. Heiderich leaned forward over his desk scrawling something across the paper while his nose was buried in the book.

Glancing up as if sensing his presence Heiderich furrowed his brow. "Is something wrong."

"No, just can't sleep." He walked over to the blond.

Heiderich pulled him down onto his lap. He was beginning to get worried. It was obvious how tired Al was.

"Are you sure? You look pail."

"Mmm." Came the noncommitive response.

Al didn't have a fever though so Heiderich took his word that he was just having sleep problems. He wondered if it was because of the coma. He would have to ask the doctor tomorrow.

Al rested his head against Heiderich's shoulder.

He waited and the brunette said no more. After a while he reached for his book.

"What are you reading?"

"I thought you'd fallen asleep."

He felt the head shake against his shoulder.

Al shifted so he could see the book. He looked at the page, yawned, and casually pointed out a mistake the author had missed.

Surprised he made a sloppy note at the edge of the page with his left hand.

He was more than a little surprised that Al had not only understood but spotted and corrected the mistake in less then five minutes.

Most people would take one look at the page full of numbers and run away.

Didn't that mean that Al might have had a good education? It wasn't exactly common.

He felt Al shift again and closed the book. Standing he ignored the protests that Al could walk just fine, lifted him easily and carried him upstairs.

He lay Al down and Al immediately adjusted himself to be more comfortable and burrowed under the blankets.

Heiderich lay down beside him and spoke in a soft voice until he knew Al had been lulled to sleep.

XXX

Al blinked his eyes open then squinted them against the sunlight streaming in through a crack in the curtain. Heiderich still fast asleep. 

He got up and closed the curtain. Not sure what to do he stood thinking. If he went back to bed he knew he wouldn't fall back to sleep. He had no idea when Heiderich would wake up. He thought briefly of making breakfast but decided not to.

He was sure that Heiderich wouldn't care but he still didn't feel right about making himself that much at home. Even though he knew this was his home now too.

He remembered that Heiderich had mentioned something about a blank notebook in the drawer to write his memories down in. He decided now was as good a time as any.

He went down the stairs, the wood cool on his bare feet, feeling like an intruder.

He quietly slid open the said drawer and picked up the notebook. Contemplating it for a moment he decided that Heiderich was the one that told him to use it.

He wondered if it was that safe to write everything down. He didn't want Heiderich having more reason to pity him and what if he remembered something unpleasant about his past?

He decided on the truth for now, he didn't want their to be secrets between them.

He began to neatly write then stopped to look at his penmanship. He wondered how it was that he remembered how to do things like write yet he still didn't remember his last name.

On that thought he scribbled the alphabet down, even his scribbles somehow looked neat.

Peering at the list he began to cross off the letters he was sure his surname didn't begin with.

He circled E. It somehow felt right. Looking at the rest of them he crossed everything else off. E was the only one that fit. He still didn't remember the rest though and going through again didn't help.

So he knew he was Alphonse E. He tried to sign his name but couldn't get past the E and just trailed off.

Turning the page he wrote his first entry.

_I was in a giant library, everyone was wearing uniforms. I know I was searching for something, it was important but I don't remember what it was._

_Later I had another memory when I saw that man. I remember dust and rocks flying everywhere. The knowledge that something he did caused many to die. Life didn't matter to him, everyone dies in the end anyway. That's what he said._

_I was sure I would as well. I lay alone knowing that it would soon end I never feared for myself like I did then. It wasn't me that needed to be worried about as much anyway._

_I was saved but at what cost?_

_Why is it that when I see something simple there is something familiar about it yet when I look in the mirror I don't recognize my reflection have the feeling something's changed, too many things don't make sense. I know I'm close to sixteen. That's how old I was before all this happened, I'm sure of it! But if I've been in the hospital five years then why am I still sixteen? My mind must be playing tricks on me..._

_Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return, to obtain something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange. _

He heard footsteps then felt the warm hand rest casually on the back of his neck.

"So you started your memory journal?"

Al held it up to him. He had already decided not to keep anything from him.

Heiderich took the book but kept his gaze locked on to Al's. Seeing only innocence and knowing it wasn't a test he flipped it open to the first page.

Al was embarrassed at the lack of progress in the name department but Heiderich patted his shoulder. "We can work with this."

He flipped it to the next page and read what little there was.

His brow furrowed slightly then his expression softened. The last part has almost been added as an afterthought, he had no idea what it referred to, he wished he could help.

Handing the book back he said. "We can search your name later and see if anything comes up."

"I don't want to know."

Heiderich gave him a stern look.

"But what if we find out who I am and that I have relatives or something and I can never see you again."

"Don't worry, I won't let that happen. We'll find out about you and then decide weather or not to contact any possible relatives, besides they must miss you."

"No they don't." Al looked miserable. "If they did then they would have come looking for me."

"Maybe they didn't know where you were."

"Five years. I would have been eleven. You can't tell me they let me go off on my own and didn't even care to ask what city I was staying in."

"You could have run away. Or you might have been separated because of the war."

That got Al's attention. "What war?"

Heiderich blinked twice. Then realizing that if he forgot about himself he probably didn't remember things like that, and of course he had been asleep for several years too. He explained the war in detail, trying not to leave anything out. Unlike most Germans, he didn't agree with how things were being done. Of course he had his own reasons and Al was part of that.

"Stop sulking and I'll make breakfast." He rustled the others messy hair then headed of to the kitchen. Al followed a moment later with a sheepish look. "I forgot where the bathroom was."

Heiderich gave him direction.

XXX

Al combed his hair with his fingers. He didn't have anything but his clothes right now, he would have to ask Heiderich about that later. He hated feeling like a burden. Like some stray kid that had wondered around and been adopted like a kitten. 

What did he expect? Of course it would be like this at first but it wouldn't last.

He touched his cheek. Still waiting for some resemblance. He didn't expect to look the same but there must be something similar. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair again, squinting at the colour. A memory flashed of golden blond hair. It wasn't his though, he had brown hair. But he was sure he knew the person well. He clenched his fist. Staring intently at the reflection he didn't hear Heiderich knock, or enter.

"You're going to burn a hole in the glass."

Al jumped and squeaked, covering his mouth.

He glanced back at Heiderich, how long had he been there?

"If you can't remember then it wont help to force it."

Al's eyes drifted down to the sink.

A strong pair of arms snaked around his midsection.

He saw the blue eyes meet his brown ones in the mirror.

Then Heiderich bent and nuzzled his neck.

In the reflection Al could see the pink tongue dart out. He leaned back against him and watched mesmerized as tingles ran through him.

Reluctantly the blond head lifted, meeting his eyes once more.

"I came up to tell you the food's ready."

XXX

Heiderich had left to go get his things from the hospital. He assumed to talk to the doctor about him too. 

He had been left with a verbal list of don'ts. For example he wasn't to open the door to anyone, he was to keep it locked, Heiderich had the key. He wasn't to touch anything in the grey cabinet, he didn't care about some random cabinets' contents in the first place but he didn't say so, only nodded. He also wasn't to answer the phone, just incase. He really felt like he was being given the 'child' treatment now. He knew Heiderich didn't mean it that way, he was just protective.

Al lay on the couch doodling in his note book.

He heard the door close. Heiderich walked in with a bag.

"What's that?"

"Your stuff. This is what you had when they found you, it isn't much."

Al dumped the contents on the floor and rummaged through it.

There was a t-shirt, pants and the such. In the pocket he found a piece of paper with a circle and some chalk.

He stared at the circle. His eyes unseeing.

Heiderich was careful not to make any noise, Al was remembering something.

Al's voice was hollow. "_So many died for it and for what? What was gained? Equivalent exchange was a lie, you can't measure the worth of any person on a scale, the dead aren't meant to come back, I should be_-"

"Al!" He caught the other as he began to tilt. "What happened to you?" Why did he have the feeling that Al was going to say he should be dead? And what was that about bringing people back to life? He didn't think he wanted to know more. He didn't want Al to remember things like that.

Al had settled and a small smile played across his lips.

He wanted for Al to remember what made him smile.

Al woke up. Not remembering what had been said or how he got into this position, the scared look on the others face made him worry. "Heiderich?"

"Don't move."

Al automatically froze and settled again.

"What happened?"

"You blanked out."

"I'm sorry..."

Heiderich looked surprised. "For what?"

"I'm just a bother, I can't - I..."

"_Don't_ talk like that."

"But I'm just in the way."

"What makes you think that?"

Al listed all the things like missing items needed the fact that he feels like everyone is too cautious around him, like he might fall over dead if they spoke to loudly (referring to the hospital there) , the fact that he can't even remember who he is so they have to look, the fact that Heiderich was treating him like a child.

"Al... I didn't know you felt that way. It's not a bother because I care about you. And would I do this to someone I considered a child?" He kissed Al. Hard and slid his had down the waist band of Al's pants. Happy to see that he was already turning red.

"N-No, I guess n-not."

"No more of this right darling? And if you think I'm treating you badly then tell me."

He took the muffled wail as an affirmative.

"Good." He slid his hand out. Watching Al pant on the ground. "Now can you think of any way we can make things better?" Heiderich smiled wickedly.

XXX

Alphonse sat on the couch and watched Heiderich rush around getting ready. 

The blond knelt in front of him. "Are you sure you'll be alright? I'm going to be gone longer then last time. You can come with me if you want."

"No, I'm fine." He wasn't ready to face a roomful of strangers. Besides, he had seen the uncertainly in Heiderich's eyes, Al didn't want to get him in trouble.

Heiderich paused a moment longer then got up and grabbed what he needed.

"If you get hungry you know where the kitchen is!" He called going out the door.

Al was alone now.

He decided to explore the house properly.

He began with the room he was in now. The living room had a couch and a chair situated in front of the fireplace. The other side of the room had a desk and bookcase. He looked through them all but nothing was familiar. Most of them were about science. He saw a few that could be useful. Useful for what?

Then he went into the kitchen and memorized where everything's place was. He wondered if he could cook but decided not to try. Heiderich had said he was making dinner when he came back. He wasn't hungry in the first place anyway.

Upstairs was the bedrooms and the bathroom. He avoided looking through Heiderich's room. He would probably keep his personal things there, or in his desk. Al was curious but not enough that he would intrude in that way.

He didn't bother with the bathroom going straight to the guest room. That was where his things from the hospital were. The clothes didn't fit anymore but he had decided to keep them anyway.

Al looked under the bed. There was nothing there. Not that he had expected there to be.

The closet was empty. Al went through the drawers. Skipping the one that had his stuff in it.

In the bottom left drawer there was a letter. Al slammed the drawer shut. He could tell just from looking at it that whoever wrote it hadn't been in a good mood. He hadn't actually read any of it but... He was beginning to feel annoyed with himself. What did he expect going through everything? Heiderich hadn't said he could.

Al went back downstairs and began to read.

XXX

Heiderich hung up his coat and dropped his leather shoulder bag next to the door. 

Al was sitting on the floor infront of the bookcase reading about physics.

"What have you learned from that?" He asked playfully.

"Don't jump off the roof because you can't fly." Al thought confused, realizing he was actually just spoken to.

He looked at Heiderich then a guilty expression crossed his features.

"What's wrong Al?"

"I found a letter in the guest room, I don't think I was supposed to see it. I didn't read it though!" He babbled

Heiderich let out a breath and went upstairs.

Al bit his thumb.

The letter was dropped on his lap. Al looked up surprised.

Heiderich sat beside him. "Everyone else knows anyway, he didn't exactly try to hide how he felt."

Al read the letter. He placed a hand on the blonds knee and felt fingers intertwine with his.

He couldn't believe someone would write this to their own son.

"He never did accept that I perused a career in science. It was the final straw when I was allowed to forgo military service for my research."

"I would say I'm sorry but he's the one I would be sorry for." He leaned against the other. "He doesn't know what he lost."

"It doesn't really bother me so much anymore. If he hadn't made me leave I'm not sure I would have stayed."

"I-" Al was surprised when Heiderich lifted him. "What?"

"I'm going to make love to you." They still hadn't in his bed and the thought wouldn't leave his mind. He really didn't care about what happened with his dad anymore and didn't want to hear Alphonse's pity.

XXX

Heiderich glanced down at Al's happy sigh to see him looking contently up at him. 

Heiderich just smiled. How many times was that now? He had rarely smiled until Alphonse came along.

"I almost forgot. I said I would make dinner when I came home."

When he came back upstairs Al was sitting up running the blanket between his fingertips. His expression between curiosity and distraction. Al had done things like that a lot actually. He often touched things almost at random. As if amazed he could even feel them.

Heiderich could have called Al down of course but he enjoyed the moments when he could watch the brunette without him knowing he was there.

He cleared his throat to get Al's attention.

Alphonse scampered off the bed.

They went downstairs and Al sat at the table as Heiderich put a plait in front of him, giving him a quick kiss before getting his own food.

Another thing he noticed was that even though Al didn't eat much he savored it.

The food didn't even taste that good.

XXX

It was his second night in Heiderich's house, second night in his bed. 

They had made love once more before going to sleep.

Or at least Al pretended to go to sleep. He felt Heiderich move away from him and slide out of bed, he assumed to use the bathroom. But the bathroom was upstairs and he heard the footsteps descending the stairs, coming back not long after.

Heiderich got back in, slipping his arms around Al.

Al was going to ask why but didn't want a lecture on still being awake. Heiderich's breathing became deeper and Al knew he had fallen asleep.

Why was sleeping so hard? He didn't mind so much anymore though. As long as Heiderich was there.

He supposed that meant he hadn't slept well before either.

He was still pretending to sleep when Heiderich got up in the morning.

Al could have followed but stayed in bed. He was tired enough that going down the stairs might be tricky.

The bed was comfortable, the spot Heiderich left was warm, he was cold. He figured the decision was obvious.

He rolled on his stomach taking up part of the blonds spot.

A hand stroked his back, he hadn't even heard Heiderich return. About a half hour later the outside door closed.

Al stayed in bed as long as he could before getting bored and leaving.

There was a note on table.

Heiderich would be gone until the afternoon, four o'clock at the latest.

Al checked the time. It was only eight.

Al went outside figuring he had explored the house already.

There wasn't another house for quite a ways. It would take more than an hour to walk, only ten minutes in a car.

There were trees, not much clear area. He didn't go far, it seemed easy to get lost out here.

Everything seemed wrong, he was beginning to wonder just how far from home he really was.

Home. This was home now. He didn't even have that feeling of memory that came with certain thoughts. Well, he may not have had one before but he did now and that was what matted.

Maybe it wouldn't seem that long a wait for Heiderich to come home.

XXX

Heiderich only half listened as the man across from him told him of the new problems that had come up. 

Winter was coming and some of the men had to leave, there were also problems with the design that might take weeks to fix.

It was getting near that time of year when they stopped, packed up, and stuck with doing only paper and book work.

Normally this would have put him in a very bad mood but now it was different.

He finally understood their want to go home.

Because though he used to spend most of his time here it wasn't home.

Home was wherever Alphonse happened to be.

So nothing bothered him as long as he could go home at the end of the day.

* * *

**Footnotes!**

Well that was the first chapter of Entkommen die Vergangenheit (Escape the past). If you didn't like it then don't read the rest of the chapters. If you did I love you and feel free to comment! Also if you have any suggestions... Oh fine I love the rest of you too.

I had a horrible craving for eggs and home fries when I wrote this so my thought most of the chapter was "Eat characters! Eat!" Lightning flashes in the background. I actually took out some food scenes.

I listed my warnings already so if you're not comfortable with that sort of thing I don't know how you got to this point. Stares

...Wow, I have a one tracked mind or what?

Have fun and may the Muses' visit and inspire you!


	2. Meeting the Past

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me.

Author Note: I repeat! Rated M! Shonen Ai. Lime, lemon and Smut! Oh, and some other stuff happens too. Glances around trying to find the actual plot line.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Meeting The Past**

Ed had found it. If his research was correct he could open the gate and find his brother.

The circle was perfect. He had made sure.

He would find Al and bring him home. And he would prove to himself that the desire that had been steadily increasing with the thought that Al would have his body back didn't mean anything.

He was ready.

Ed place his hands on the circle, feeling it working.

XXX

They sat knee to knee on the floor.

They'd began to do this everyday.

"No, Ich, not Ick!" Heiderich laughed.

Al tried again.

"That's better."

"Say something else." Al asked

This continued for an hour, Al was a fast learner but it would take time for him to speak a new language fluently.

"Now try saying something we haven't just been practicing."

"Sie sind perfekt."

Heiderich smiled "Küss mich."

Al leaned forward and kissed his tutor.

The lesson was put on hold.

XXX

"So you like the outdoors?"

Al turned away from the window.

"Yes, why?"

"I have something to show you then."

Heiderich brought Al outside. "I don't want you wondering around because the trees can be dense and you can get lost easily. But there are some nice spots."

They reached one of those nice spots. The clear stream sparkled in the moonlight at the edge of the clearing.

Al walked away from the trees, then looked up at the sky. "It's beautiful."

Heiderich watched Alphonse walk around, exploring. He went to meet him and pulled Al into an embrace. "I know something much more beautiful."

"What?"

Heiderich kissed him.

Al blushed realizing what he had meant.

Heiderich's hands caressed his shoulders, pulling off the shirt Al had thrown on before leaving.

Hot kisses trailed over Al's exposed flesh.

When Al whispered his name Heiderich pulled him closer, their bodies fitting together perfectly, Al's fingers digging into his back.

Their lips met again for a long kiss that left them breathless.

It was at that moment that Heiderich knew beyond a doubt that he never wanted to spend one day without Alphonse there. He wanted to know every time he came home Al would be waiting.

Al was everything to him, nothing in his life had ever meant this much.

He gently lowered Al to the ground so the brunette was under him. He sat back looking down at Al, bathed in moonlight.

A frown creased the perfect brow. "Are you crying?" Al asked confused.

Heiderich said everything that had just crossed his mind.

Al smiled tremulously. His fingers skimmed up to tangle in Heiderich's hair and pulled him down to show him that he felt the same.

He reached down to undo Al's pants, his knuckles brushing Al's abdomen.

He felt Alphonse stiffen beneath him then relax.

Heiderich slowly pulled the rest of their clothing off, loving Al s restlessness.

He rubbed Al's thighs before tightening his grasp and plunging in. Pausing to watch Al's expression. He always loved that.

The way his lashes fluttered when he was aroused, the way he bit his lip when he entered him.

Close his eyes tight, brow tilting down when it was rough, skin turning heated with a blush that spread over his body.

Or the way his lips would part like an indentation as he sighed, muscles clenching and unclenching in waves when it was gentile. Sometimes opening his eyes to share a look that was beyond words.

Heiderich began to move within him, somewhere between the two and his favorite response came as Al moaned his name, shifting so that Heiderich's strokes deepened and moving in perfect sink with him and Alphonse's expression changed so that he looked sweetly innocent, arching, exposing his neck for Heiderich's mouth.

Heiderich quickened as he felt Al gradually working toward the breaking point. Every few moments he quickened it even more.

Soon they were panting covered in sweat.

Alphonse loved the way Heiderich responded too.

No matter how lost he was he always took note of the changes. Heiderich would sometimes have an almost sorrowful look that would melt as soon as he saw Alphonse.

He always wanted to make love after that look, and Al had never refused.

When Heiderich entered him he would make a noise in the back of his thought and would move in a possessive way that Alphonse loved.

He loved the way Heiderich could be hard and not even think of being gentile and let the sensation take control of him then be almost regretful after only to do it again moments later.

Even better he liked it when Heiderich was fully aware of everything, claiming Al with every knowledge of what he was doing. He was always possessive but the difference was the consideration he showed. Letting the emotion take hold instead but they seemed to somehow amplify the sensations.

And that look after. He couldn't explain it yet it conveyed so much. Heiderich would look at him in a way that made him aware of every nerve in his body as shivers ran through him. When he looked at him that way it wasn't lovemaking that he wanted.

Heiderich would undress him and look him over, sometimes planting a kiss somewhere before sitting on the bed and pulling Al down with him and they would lie awake, their bodies tangled together. Heiderich's arms wrapped protectively around him as he whispered sweet nothings in his ear. And somehow that was as far as it got.

Yet Heiderich had looked at him in that same way just now.

Alphonse moaned and Heiderich was almost undone. He lifted Al's hips, striking even deeper.

Bitting down on Al's neck he felt the other tighten his legs and Heiderich hit the perfect spot.

Alphonse gasped, not able to manage more as Heiderich came inside him.

Heiderich lapped and kissed Al's neck. He laughed thinking of the fact that Al always wore something with a high collar if they went out, but at home he always wore something with a low neckline as if taunting for more. He would rub the spot, look at Heiderich as a slow smile spread across his features and then continue with what he was doing.

He felt Alphonse begin to respond.

Slowly exploring the soft ready mouth Heiderich began moving once more.

Alphonse pointed at the horizon, barely visible beyond the trees. "The sun's coming up."

The sky had lighted as the first rays of sunlight crested the horizon.

Almost as an afterthought Heiderich asked "Are you sore?"

Al looked at him surprised at the question.

"We were more busy last night then normal." Heiderich grinned at the thought.

Al leaned forward to kiss him. He was sore and weary but wasn't about to admit to that.

He didn't care about that and neither was he at the point that he wasn't ready for more.

Heiderich had once said he could be insatiable but the same was true of Heiderich himself. If he was in one of those moods Al defiantly wasn't going to discourage him.

Heiderich moved away, not what he had expected.

He caught the confused look and explained. "I know something that will help."

Heiderich lead Alphonse to the stream. He had often relaxed in it but this was the first time he had brought anyone here.

Al shivered at the feel of the cool water around him as he sat in the spot in front of Heiderich the blond had indicated.

The water was halfway up his back when sitting. It felt good, relaxing. Heiderich began to massage his tension away.

Heiderich received the soft purring sigh that he had hoped for.

When he was done he pulled Al back against him.

Dipping his hand in the water Heiderich brought it up to let water run over Al's shoulders.

Another sigh as Heiderich bent his head to lap up a droplet.

Al turned, eyes dark with want. He kissed his way up the blonds chest, starting at water level.

He felt a shiver go through the other that he knew had nothing to do with the cold. He reached the hollow of his neck and only then really started.

Heiderich allowed this to continue for several minutes, pressing his hand to the back of Alphonse's neck, coaxing the younger into more. Feeling himself growing hard.

"Put your legs around me." It was a command and Alphonse did as told.

Heiderich positioned Alphonse then brought him down.

He felt Al stiffen, the water couldn't erase all of the leftover sensitivity. He waited for Al to relax before continuing.

They found that water made it so that Heiderich could enter deeper much more easily.

Al rested his head against Heiderich's shoulder. Holding on tight in fear of losing himself in it.

Heiderich moaned at the hot breath that suddenly fanned his neck as he hit home, a dry sob escaping Al's lips.

He never wanted it to stop. They went through one climax, continuing on.

Al brought his head away to almost blindly find Heiderich's mouth.

Al bent his head back squeezing his eyes shut but Heiderich didn't let him stop then.

Finally the last wave hit them and he all but collapsed into Heiderich's arms.

They stayed longer, letting the slow currant drift past them.

Alphonse was numb, he didn't think he could stand if he tried.

Heiderich had that look again as he watched Al's breathing slow.

The one that said more then words ever could.

XXX

It was evening by the time Heiderich woke up. They had managed to make it back home and to bed before falling asleep that morning.

He was greeted by a rare sight. Alphonse was curled up against him looking angelic in sleep. He didn't get up, afraid to wake Alphonse but it was pointless.

The brunette woke, almost as if sensing the other had.

He looked sleepy but satisfied. "What time is it?"

"Around six I think."

Al murmured something that sounded like 'we should do that more often' before falling back asleep.

XXX

Al lounged in the shade of a tree in what was technically Heiderich's yard. It was close enough to the house that he wouldn't get into trouble for being here.

Hearing a faint noise he followed it.

Al found a kitten the size of his palm.

He picked it up curiously. "What are you doing out here?" How had this tiny thing gotten all the way out here? There wasn't a house for miles.

Looking around he figured it out.

The mother had died birthing it. There was another kitten but it wasn't moving. He looked sadly at the kitten in his hands. He couldn't leave it out there.

Carefully he cradled it and went to find Heiderich.

Heiderich was sitting on the front steps daydreaming.

Al looked at him pathetically and held up the kitten. "Can we keep it?"

"No!"

"But." He stopped, remembering something about a similar situation. Checko?

"Al?"

He slowly shook his head to clear it then continued with his plea. "It can't take care of itself! Please!"

"Fine. We can keep it." Al's odd reaction had disconcerted Heiderich more then he wanted to admit.

"Really?!" Al tilted his head cutely and smiled.

Almost as an afterthought Heiderich asked. "Do you even know how to take care of a kitten?"

Al thought about it. "I don't know." Had he ever had one before?

Heiderich was glad he used to have a friend that was obsessed with cats. They had told him what to do in this situation enough times that he would never forget.

XXX

Heiderich didn't seem very happy with the new kitten.

Al tried to keep an eye on it but it was better at hiding then he was at finding it.

The only reason he let Al keep it was because he knew it made him happy.

They had to be careful because it was so little, Heiderich had almost stepped on it more then once and Al had the idea of using a laundry basket to keep it in.

That lasted one night before it figured out how to climb out.

He had no idea how the tiny thing had managed to climb up and fall over to the other side without hurting itself but it had.

The other unexpected thing about the kitten was how loud it could meow. A full grown cat couldn't be that loud if it tried.

If Al wasn't around it would meow none stop until he picked it up and it would suck on his pinky and start to purr.

Heiderich was sure it knew he didn't like it.

He had tried to pick it up to move it and it had hissed and ran away, not to emerge for an hour.

"Dumme katze." He muttered when he saw it slide across the floor, Al following it.

"Hey! Come back! It's just water!"

The kitten had knocked over the juice so Al was left with the task of washing it.

Heiderich had told him not to put it on the counter when he was in there but apparently Al had 'forgotten'.

Seeing the kitten dart to the side and under the table Al tried to stop but ended up sliding on the glossy floor.

Heiderich tried to catch him but they both ended up on the ground.

Al was on his back, Heiderich on top of him.

Al looked up, the kitten was sitting there licking itself.

"Do you still like the cat?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sure it planed it, it's evil." Heiderich fumed.

Al giggled and tried to get up.

Heiderich held him down, kissing his neck once before letting Al get to his feet.

He grabbed the kitten before it could run away again. It growled. Heiderich gave it to Al and it stopped.

Al closed the door this time so it couldn't get away.

Heiderich shook his head. "Stupid cat."

XXX

It had been almost two weeks since Alphonse had moved in. The Kitten was finally able to go from only milk to occasional canned food.

He still hadn't remembered much.

They had found out that it was impossible for Al to sleep at night, the first night being an exception.

Sometimes he could sleep during the day but never at night.

On some days it seemed they couldn't keep their hands off each other for more then five minutes. Others they would be content with the others company. Silent or not.

Alphonse found out that Heiderich followed the same routine of getting up and going downstairs when he thought Al was sleeping.

He also got cold easily. Al didn't mind warming him up. He quite enjoyed it actually.

XXX

It was bound to happen. Alphonse could just be so curious sometimes.

One night he followed Heiderich out of bed.

Sitting at the top of the stairs he peered through the pillars.

Heiderich opened the 'forbidden' cubbord. He took a small bottle of pills and swallowed one.

Al was back in bed before he could be caught.

XXX

Heiderich had gone. It was a ten minute drive to town. It would take at least that long to do whatever he had gone for. So Al had a half hour to figure things out.

He opened the drawer and went through the contents.

After he walked to the couch and sat with his head between his knees.

The door opened and he ran straight to Heiderich, not slowing as he neared.

Heiderich stumbled back a step as Al threw himself full tilt into his arms.

"Why? Why, why, why..."

"Why what Al." He had that look that said he was afraid to know.

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

Surprise, understanding then anger crossed his features.

"I told you not to look in there! It was the_ one _thing I really asked! Why couldn't you just listen?!"

He stormed off.

Alphonse jumped when the door closed.

He bit his thumb. Thoughts not able to settle down.

He began walking.

XXX

Heiderich got up early the next morning. He was still upset but starting to feel badly about treating Al that way.

Unfortunately Al wasn't anywhere in the house.

He wasn't in the yard either.

How hard had he taken it?

Starting to panic he got in the car and slowly drove down the road.

He pulled over, thankful it had rained before he had gotten home.

Heiderich followed the footprints, he knew that this lead to a stream, it would be deep this time of year.

His heartbeat quickened.

"Alphonse?"

No answer.

He found him sitting with his arms around himself and his head against his knees.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you." No answer.

"Are you ok?"

Alphonse's eyes flashed. "ME? It's you I'm worried about! You should be too!" At least he had gotten a response.

"I might not... I may... There's still time."

Al looked up, eyes steely, he refused to let depression overcome him. "How much time?" His voice betrayed him.

Heiderich looked away.

Al put his head back down. "Exactly."

"Don't do this Alphonse. If we don't have much time then we should make the best of it."

Al got up turning away. "We should go back."

"_Al_."

He bit his lip. Heiderich's words running through his head.

"Al, don't..."

Giving in he turned back. Heiderich still sat in front of the spot he had vacated.

The look in his eyes enough to make Alphonse's heart break.

Heiderich had let Al ask what he needed to and Al had agreed to make the most of things.

Heiderich still had a couple years left. That was an estimate though. Something could happen to shorten that time.

Al hoped that he would have longer. It was possible, if unlikely.

XXX

Heiderich could tell that it was affecting Al strongly. He had started to act more solemn.

During the night he could feel Al's tears, he only cried when he thought Heiderich wouldn't know.

Heiderich worked hard to get him to be like he used to and it was starting to work.

He had come to terms with it long ago but it was new to Al.

He wondered how he would feel if the situation was reversed and something happened to Al.

He decided that Al was taking it well after all.

XXX

Ed had looked everywhere, asked countless people.

He had a picture of Al and himself before Al lost his body.

If it had worked and Al got his body back then if anyone had seen him they would recognize the picture, if not then he was following the wrong path.

He had found out a lot about this place and had constructed a story for himself and his brother.

Their mother died when they were little, their dad was in the army. He had been MIA for two years now. They knew he was dead.

He had to take care of his little brother by himself because they had no one else.

Feeling guilty his brother ran away.

That was years ago, he was eleven but by now he would be sixteen.

No mater how may people he asked they always had the same response. "Sorry, but I don't know him. Wish I could help..."

He stood outside of a hospital, if no one knew Al here then he would have to try another city.

A bright nurse welcomed him. "Hi! Can I do something for you?"

He repeated his story and showed her the picture.

"Why yes, I have seen him before." She looked surprised.

"Really? Where?" He couldn't keep the excitement from his voice.

"He was a patient here for quite some time."

"Was?"

"Yes he had been in a coma but he woke up so we released him."

"Do you know where he is now?"

"Why yes. He's staying with a friend of Dr. Cavanagh. I can call if you like."

He couldn't believe it. After all that it was this easy.

XXX

Things had returned to a semblance of normality.

Al had even laughed the other day. Heiderich liked to pretend it hadn't been to make him feel better.

A few more days and things really would be ok again. It would always hang over them, they would never forget but for now they could pretend. As long as it didn't make itself obvious then it was almost like nothing was wrong.

The phone rang.

"Adeline? Is something wrong?" He listened to her exited explanation. "Are you sure?... So there's no doubt?"

Al had woken up and stretched.

"Alright, well be right down." He hung up the phone and stared at it.

"What's happened?"

"What do you know about your family?"

"Nothing why?"

"Because your brother is at the hospital looking for you."

"What? I have a brother?"

"Apparently. She said that he has a picture of the two of you."

Al tried to remember, something sounded right about it but he couldn't see what.

"I told them we'd head straight there."

Al panicked. So soon? He wasn't ready!

"Al, I know why you don't want to go but you have to. He's been looking for you all this time." Heiderich thought it more then a little odd that this brother would show up after this long, just happening to find Al not long after he woke up.

"Nothing will be different will it? I can still stay here?"

"Yes, we'll talk to him. If it comes to it he can stay here too."

When he knew Al was ready they left.

XXX

The nurse disconnected the phone.

"They'll be right here Mr. Elric. It may take a bit for them to get here but they're on their way."

"Thanks." Ed still couldn't believe it. He had found Al and Al had his body back to normal!

"There's something you should know though." She had the look of one who was gossiping about something she wasn't supposed to. "You see, after he woke up he couldn't remember anything. Apparently a few things have come back to him but nothing helpful. So don't worry if he doesn't remember you. On the other hand seeing you will probably jog his memory! I'm sure everything will turn out fine!"

Ed wondered if that was the price Al had to pay. There was a possibility that Al had pretended not to know for whatever reason.

"If it's not to much trouble, could I see him alone?"

"Oh! Right, of course. You haven't seen him in so long you must want to catch up ehh?" She slid her chair out. "Right this way! This room isn't being used at the moment. When he comes I'll tell him you're in here ok? Ok!" She walked away humming to herself. Ed waited in the room. Wondering and worrying.

XXX

The nurse greeted them exuberantly.

"Hi! He's in room 103! Said he wanted to talk to you alone! You must be sooo exited!"

Al looked at Heiderich. "It'll be fine."

Al went ahead, looking at the numbers as he went down the hall.

"He's a bit nervous." Heiderich explained after Al had found the right room and gone in, closing it with a click.

"Oh! Of course! Perfectly understandable!"

The nurse made him a bit uneasy. She was just too happy. No one was that happy, it wasn't normal.

XXX

Al took a moment to stare at the figure in front of him. Broken memories of his childhood whirled by.

"Ni-isan?" The term came from that dark hole in his mind he couldn't penetrate.

He remembered when they were little, playing.

And grieving. For what or whom?

"Al." Ed looked happy and sad at the same time.

Al flung himself into Ed's arms. "Niisan! But you've changed." He looked up at Ed." You're older." He only realized how silly that sounded after he said it. Of course he was older! Al was remembering when they were children.

"You really don't remember do you? You weren't making it up?"

"No. Why would I make something like that up?"

"No reason!" Other then fear of having his alchemic abilities discovered. "So what have you been doing since you woke up."

"I've been staying with someone. His name is Heiderich." Al looked unsure. "Do we have a home?"

"No. There's nowhere to go back to."

Al brightened. "Heiderich said you could stay at his place too."

"And exactly what is he to you anyway?"

"He's my friend!"

Ed wondered if that was really all.

"I was wondering... What happened that we got separated in the first place?"

Ed repeated the story he had told everyone else. He figured that it would be easier for Al to take that in then the truth.

"I ran away?" That didn't sound right but it must have happened. "Sorry. I..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"It doesn't matter anymore. We're together again and that's all that matters right?"

"Right."

Ed stepped back. "Let me get a better look at you." Al had aged since he lost his body. He was how old he should be if nothing had happened.

He could tell that Al had remembered a bit when he saw him but would everything come back or would he always be like this?

"That friend of yours is probably worried I'm going to kidnap you, why don't you introduce us?

"Ok!"

XXX

Heiderich had indeed offered his home to him and Ed had accepted. At least until he found a way to get home.

They were both suspicious of each other, Al was completely oblivious to this.

If Al didn't factor in Ed would have liked Heiderich but he wasn't comfortable with the thought that more might be going on between the two that he didn't know about.

Heiderich and Al were at the spot near the stream. It was hard to find a moment alone.

"We're going to have to figure out a sleeping arrangement."

"He can have the spare room can't he?"

"That's supposed to be your room remember? You'll have to share a room with him. You can't keep sleeping in my bed, he's already suspicions as it is."

"Oh."

"We can still be together, we just have to be careful from now on."

Heiderich rolled on his side and placed a kiss on Al's belly. "Ok?"

"Mmm." Al's lips parted as he watched Heiderich work his way down.

XXX

It was the first night they spent apart.

Al's mind wouldn't rest. He wondered if his brother had told him everything, if he would ever get used to having anyone other then Heiderich beside him.

"Al, don't forget it's forty three, not forty two. Last time..."

Al wondered what he was dreaming about. Maybe math work?

He settled back down, determined to sleep tonight.

XXX

The door had been left open a crack. Heiderich couldn't resist checking.

Al lay curled up with his back to Ed. Ed had his arm draped over Al. He pulled him closer so that Al's hair brushed against his mouth.

Al yawned and said something Heiderich didn't understand.

He wondered just exactly how close the brothers had been.

XXX

Ed woke up before Al. He figured there was a first time for everything.

Heiderich was already up.

He didn't mention what he had seen, deciding to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Ed asked how Al had been doing. If he had been acting strangely or been ill.

Heiderich told him what he could. Ed admitted that there had been issues with Al's memory before

"It might not be because of the coma then?"

"What might not be because of the coma?" Al asked plopping on the couch beside Heiderich. Still dressed in his pajamas.

The kitten used its tinny but sharp claws to climb up his leg and settle on his lap.

"Ed said that something like this happened before, with your memory."

"It was never this bad though. You never forgot everything before and not much that was important." Ed explained. He wondered if it was because he had transferred his soul or if it could be a coincidence.

"How long did it take to remember?"

Ed fidgeted. "Well, you see. You never really did remember much. I'm not saying you forgot a lot!"

"So, I may not ever get my memory back?" Al looked devastated. He got up, holding the kitten against him, and wondered to the window. Staring out yet not seeing.

"I don't know Al. Like I said, it was never like this before so it may go differently and you may remember everything."

Heiderich watched Al, at a loss for words. In a way that he was ashamed Heiderich hoped Al didn't remember. Some part of him feared that if Alphonse remembered he would loose him. Would he change? Or would he remember something that would make him want to leave?

XXX

They all got to know each other in their own ways over the days that followed.

Ed complained that Al let the kitten sleep in the bed with them and Heiderich had jokingly asked if it took up to much room. Ed didn't complain after that. He didn't really care all that much in the first place.

At random times Ed would go out, most of the time he walked. He never told them what he was doing.

Ed was torn. He wanted to get back to their home and friends but Al was happy here. He didn't want to make Al chose. Ed wasn't about to leave his little brother alone here and he wasn't going to force him to go back.

He looked for a way home anyway. In the hopes that Al would remember and want to return as well.

Ed had met someone that had given him a lead. They had pointed him in the direction of a German scholar.

The scholar was going to be told to expect him.

Heiderich was absorbed in his work, he barely noted when Ed asked to borrow the car.

Ed found his brother. "Come on Al, we're going to go see someone."

Al followed him to the car.

"You know some German right?"

"Some. I don't know how much help I'll be. Why didn't you ask Heiderich to help?"

"He's busy. You'll do fine."

"If you're sure."

XXX

Ed knocked, receiving an invitation to enter.

The house was cluttered, stalks of papers were piled everywhere. In few years Heiderich's place would looked like this. In a few years... Al forced himself away from the thought.

The man must have been in his sixties. He patted one of the chairs beside him. An indication for them to sit.

Ed had said that the man didn't know any english so it was pointless to ask.

"_You must be the little brother_. _Welcome, what can I do for you?"_

"Ask him what he knows about alchemy."

"Alchemy? Why?"

"Just ask."

He asked.

_"There is a place in this city with a circle said to have been made by great alchemists not of this world._

_Not of this world?"_

_"Not much is known about them but it is said that they came from another world. Much like, and unlike, our own. They brought their power with them to our world. In the end they said that this could never really be their home. They worked on a way back. One night they made that circle and vanished."_

"_Where is the circle?"_

"_In the exact center of the city. There is a duplicate in the University."_

Al repeated everything to Ed.

"Is there anything else?"

_"No, not that is known."_

Al thanked him.

"_If you find anything you'll let me know?"_ The scholar asked.

"_Yes, of course."_

"Did you find what you need?" Al asked as they left.

"I think so."

Al waited for Ed to elaborate but when nothing was forthcoming he didn't ask again.

Al wanted to ask Ed some things. He was sure Ed had lied about their story but without his full memory he couldn't be sure.

He knew that their dad left when they were children, he didn't even remember the man. But was their more to the story then he had been told? Had his dad actually left to fight in the war and he hadn't been told because they figured someone his age wouldn't understand?

There were too many unknowns to bring it up.

XXX

Ed, assuming that he was the only one awake, and not really thinking, used alchemy to quickly heat the water like he had for Gracia when she was giving birth.

He could have waited for the kettle to boil but alchemy was so ingrained in him that he used it without a second thought.

"What did you do?Al was pail, staring at the heated water. Remembering "Alchemy... We studied it didn't we?"

"Yes Al, but you can't tell anyone. Do you know what they do to people here that do things they can't explain?"

"Heiderich wouldn't."

"He may not do anything but what will he think? To him you'll be a freak, something to avoid. Right now you're normal, acceptable. Do you _want_ him to hate you."

"I don't think..."

"Can you be sure? Is it worth the risk? And don't forget that if you tell it affects me as well as you." Ed didn't like talking to Alphonse like this but he felt he had to. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes."

**Footnotes!**

Yes that's right, I didn't forget about Ed... Really I didn't.


	3. Secrets And Lies

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Cries

Author Note: Elricest, Shonen Ai, HeiXAl. Warning: Rated M for Lemon, Smut and Violence. Now it's time to have some fun with the EdXAl relationship.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**Secrets And Lies**

Alphonse secretly practiced his alchemy. Sometimes Ed would help.

He was careful not to let Heiderich find out.

It was nice to do this. It came back more easily then anything else.

He just remembered facts, do's and don'ts. He remembered reading book upon book.

No personal memory ever surfaced having to do with it.

By this time he was fairly confident that he had mastered his previous level of skill.

He even had begun utilizing the method of clapping his hands that Ed used. Alphonse was pretty sure he couldn't do that before.

He wondered what had changed.

Al was sure he knew what made it so you could do so but it was as elusive as everything else.

The kitten darted around the bed playing with Al. It hissed whenever anyone else tried to pet it.

Ed had tried to suppress his attraction so many times he had lost count.

Al had responded the first time but he knew things were different now.

Still...

It was too strong an urge to resist.

He pulled Al to his feet and kissed him.

It was so sudden and unexpected Al couldn't register what was happening. Suddenly memories surfaced. His eyes widened, going blank.

They used to share rooms a lot as children too.

One night during a storm he had gotten scared and rushed to his older brother.

_"Al, mom says you'll never get over it if you keep coming in here every time."_

_"Please?" He had been near tears._

_"Oh fine."_

_Al had scrambled with minimal difficult onto the bed snuggling against his brother for warmth._

_"Has anyone kissed you before?"_

_"No."_

_"Do you think you'd like it?"_

_"I don't know." _

_"Want to find out?"_

_"I don't know, I suppose." He wasn't sure why Ed was going on about it._

_Ed had leaned forward and kissed him._

_Al made a startled noise, then decided that it was ok so he responded._

_"So, do you like kissing?"_

_"Yes."_

_"'Night Al."_

_"Night."_

He tried to struggle but Ed held on.

A hiss distracted Ed and Al used this to break away. The kitten followed him, turning to yowl and hissed once more then slid as it ran, managing to get into the bathroom before Al closed and locked the door.

Ed called through the door. "Al! Open up!"

"No! I don't remember what exactly our relationship _used _to be but I'm not going to be apart of it now!"

Ed didn't mention that their relationship hadn't gotten far before either. "Just let me in ok? I promise not do anything!"

Al didn't answer.

"Don't you think you owe me for everything I had to go through for you?" He didn't know where the thought came from but as soon as it surfaced it took firm root.

"Go away." He didn't know Al could sound that cold.

XXX

Heiderich could hear raised voices coming from upstairs but couldn't make out what they were saying.

Ed stormed down stairs and out the door.

A minuet later Al emerged almost tentatively.

"What happened?"

Al started. "N-Nothing. Cat hissed at him."

"That didn't sound like it was about the cat unless he really overreacts. Is everything alright?"

"It d- doesn't matter."

He let it go, for the moment.

XXX

It was late when Ed came back. Al was sleeping in the living room.

Heiderich stopped him as he came in.

"If I find out that you hurt him you'll be out of this house and I don't care if you find somewhere else to stay or not."

"I didn't do anything, it was just a misunderstanding." Ed wondered how much he knew.

Heiderich was sure that there was more then either was letting on. For the first time he was afraid of the thought of leaving Al alone with his brother. He knew he was probably overreacting but he wasn't going to take any chances.

"Al's going to stay in my room from now on."

"It was just a -" He realized he had almost let it slip.

"A what?" Heiderich raised his brow.

"Misunderstanding, like I said." Ed left then. It really was something simple, he didn't know why Heiderich was taking it so badly.

XXX

Brothers arguing wasn't anything special but he was protective of Al.

He wouldn't force Al to tell him what it was about. Alphonse would say if he needed to.

XXX

Al hated it.

Lying to Heiderich about Ed and for keeping the alchemy secret from him.

Secrets were just as bad as lies.

It ate at him every time he saw Heiderich, which was often.

XXX

The Ed incident didn't bother him very much anymore.

That could have been a misunderstanding like Ed said.

It didn't happen again so Al let it go.

Heiderich had asked him five billion times if he was sure he didn't want to come to town with him.

Al wasn't really feeling well. Mostly tired and he had a headache.

Heiderich offered to stay home, he could go tomorrow. Al had been adamant that he go. He didn't want to cause problems.

Ed called him upstairs.

Every so often Ed would tell him stories about what he had forgotten. So far nothing had triggered any recollection.

Al assumed that Ed wanted to tell him something else.

Al walked in. "Couldn't you come downstairs to talk to me?" He looked weary.

"It's easier this way."

"Why?"

"Because it is."

Ed was beginning to scare him.

"Remember what I told you before? You still haven't repaid me yet."

Al turned to run to the door. He felt himself lifted and everything spun as he was thrown painfully to the floor.

Al cried out but there was no one there to hear.

Ed placed his foot on Al's back. "Are you going to repay me?"

"Not in that way! How could you ask that?" He winced as Ed pressed down harder.

"Well then I wont ask."

He was lifted and thrown again. This time onto the bed.

He didn't have enough time to react before Ed clapped his hands together to make ropelike fabric emerge from the bed and tie around his wrists and ankles.

Al cried out again as the pain amplified in his already hurt hand.

Ed climbed over top of him. "I really like it when you do that, cry out."

Somehow his brother managed to get his clothes off, once again using alchemy when it was needed.

Al refused to make another sound after that, no matter how much it hurt. It was useless anyway, no one could hear.

Ed left after, not saying a word but with an immensely pleased look on his face.

Al wondered if he would come back. He hopped not. Heiderich would kill him if he knew.

It wasn't his brother he was worried about.

He didn't want Heiderich finding out.

It was his fault it happened after all. If he hadn't responded all those years ago then maybe Ed wouldn't have gotten to that point.

It was his fault.

Alphonse began to cry. It took a while to free himself.

The first thing he did was get dressed and turn the bed back to normal. Then he threw the sheets in the washer and went upstairs to take a shower.

He put the water as hot as he could take it.

After the shower he put on a different outfit. He had been borrowing Heiderich's clothes a lot since he still didn't have much of his own but he put on one of the few that was his.

After he finished with all that he tossed the sheets in the drier and replaced them with his clothes in the washer.

Al went back upstairs and washed his hands.

After everything was clean and back in it's proper place Al sat on the couch.

He rotated his wrist and flexed his fingers. He had hurt it when he hit the ground.

Alphonse dismissed it as nothing too bad and curled up. Had he missed anything? He didn't thinks so.

XXX

Heiderich pressed a hand against Al's forehead. He wasn't sick.

"Al? What's wrong?"

Al shook his head knowing that his voice would betray him.

"_Alphonse_" He cupped Al's jaw and forced the exhausted eyes to meet his.

"Nothings...Wrong..." Heiderich could barely hear the words.

Thinking his expression darkened then softened.

"And where's Edward? Did you two argue?"

Al nodded, it was close enough. Maybe he would leave it alone.

"What about?"

"He said I owed him." It wasn't a lie.

Alphonse hated himself for so many reasons right then.

Heiderich squeezed Al's hand reassuringly and felt him jump.

Lifting it for a better view in the moonlight he probed it.

Al hissed and turned pail.

XXX

"How did you manage to break your wrist?"

Al slid further back into the seat of the car at the unchecked note of annoyance in Heiderich's voice.

"Fell."

Heiderich sighed then reached out without taking his eyes off the road and gently placed the back of his fingers against Al's cheek before returning it to the steering wheel. The gesture a sign of forgiveness. Not like there was much to forgive, as far as Heiderich knew.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Didn't know."

Heiderich brought his hand back to stay. Alphonse nuzzled it. Wanting things to be normal. Why did everything always have to go wrong?

XXX

Ed had come home. He seemed to have a habit of showing up when Heiderich wasn't around.

Alphonse had been outside and hadn't seen him come in.

He'd frozen in the kitchen doorway when he had seen his older brother.

Ed had said that he wanted to apologize. He was sipping a cup of tea, another was across from him. He gave it a slight shove for emphasis. Al decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. A mistake, he was sure. Running was more scary. Last time he had run had turned out badly.

He sat and practically chugged the cup, he was so nervous he didn't care about the sting.

Ed began to talk. "I really am sorry Al."

He was beginning to feel hazily.

Ed was beside him. When had Ed gotten up?

"Unfortunately I can't help myself." He bent and kissed Al. The link between the real Ed and what had been taken that made him so had faded considerately leaving him with almost none of who he was.

Why couldn't he move? Why didn't any sound come out no matter how hard he tried?

The door slammed shut.

He hadn't even heard Heiderich come in. He must have seen.

Ed stood back, almost enjoying the look of horror that managed to cross Al's face.

Al found himself on the ground. The chill that came up from the floor should have made him shiver but his muscles couldn't even manage that.

XXX

It was wrong! Heiderich thought. So wrong.

They were brothers. But it wasn't so much that, that bothered him, rather the sting of betrayal.

It wasn't right. Alphonse...

Wouldn't do that.

Now that he thought about it the scene _had _been wrong. In more ways then he had been thinking.

He turned and went back. Hopping for his own sake that he was right.

And Al's that he was wrong.

Either way he was going to kill Edward.

XXX

Al tried to move. Tried so hard to stop what he knew his brother would soon do.

As if by a miracle Ed disappeared.

Heiderich pulled him away and punched the golden haired man as hard as he could.

He gathered Al to him and repeated his name over and over.

Ed considered using Heiderich's distraction to make a quick exit. He could take the blond easily, especially with his alchemy, but he wasn't in the mood anymore.

Al began to shiver excessively and moved his lips but no sound came out.

Unable to resist Ed ran a taunting hand down Heiderich's back, eliciting a growl.

He was already through the doorway when the other turned his head.

His eyes closed farther and tears streamed down his cheek. He unsuccessfully tried speech once more.

Finally his muscles relaxed and he melted against Heiderich.

Everything went dark

XXX

Al woke up in bed. Alone.

At least he wasn't in the guest room. That was good right?

He got up. Only falling to his knees once. Which he was proud of.

He carefully made his way downstairs.

Heiderich was sleeping on the couch.

Al sat in front of the unconscious form, put his head down near Heiderich, and fell back asleep.

At some point Heiderich woke up long enough to pull Al onto the couch with him.

Heiderich stroked the sleeping form.

So many questions whirled through his mind.

Would Al be alright? Had it happened before? If so how far had it gone?

When Alphonse awoke Heiderich asked.

Receiving nods for the first two and sobs for the last. Leaving him with no doubt as to the answer.

Some how Al ended up under him as he desperately kissed away the tears, his own falling and mixing.

"I'm sorry- so sorry- I should have been there." He said between sobs.

He kissed Al tentavely, questioningly then pulled back. Looking for an answer on Al's features. Having got it he bent his head back down for another kiss.

Everything was slow and gentile.

Washing away the taint in a way that water couldn't. If not healing then making it possible.

Heiderich clung to Al as if fearing he would disappear.

When they were done he flipped Al on top of him to rest. He had a bad habit for that.

Both their faces were wet from tears.

He kissed Al's pulse. The damp skin reassuring him,

The after glow and sweet exhale of breath made Heiderich want to laugh. Or cry. He wasn't sure which so settled for both.

"I love you. Alphonse. Oh Al, I love you." He kept murmuring it into the others ear. Why had it taken something like this to make him say it. Finally really _realize_.

The words were eventually cut off by Al's hungry mouth.

"I love you too."

He knew he should of said it before. He had even, in a way, known the first day in the park

Edward was dismissed for now.

All they thought about was that moment.

XXX

Al saw Heiderich put something in the drawer.

He gave Al a look that left no room for debate. "You are not to touch this drawer. Understand?"

"Why do you have a gun?" Gun's made Al nervous. He would never go near one.

"So that if he ever comes back I can shoot him."

Al didn't have to ask who.

And Heiderich had that no-room-for-debate- _dead_ serious look.

XXX

Alphonse was walking in the forest, he wasn't supposed to but he didn't think he would get lost as easily as Heiderich seemed to think he would.

Hearing the stick crack behind him he instinctively ducked and spun, his hand meeting the chin of the man behind him, knocking him out in one blow with a move he had not been aware he knew.

Seeing another and knowing somehow that meeting people out here was more than coincidence he let his body move thorough the attack and defensive maneuvers he knew so well yet didn't know at all.

That was two down.

Then pain exploded in the back of his head, he lay still on the ground as he recovered his senses.

Al became aware of the feel of something cold against the back of his neck and an even cooler voice told him to get up.

He stood , seeing that there had been yet two more men he had missed.

One held a gun pointed level with his head, he backed up and nodded to the other man who did not hesitate to take his cue.

The second man stepped forward and backhanded him.

Every time Al fell after being hit he was ordered to get up, and he did. The alternative was worse yet some part of him wanted to refuse. To not give them the satisfaction even if it cost him.

He was hit strait to the chest, hard enough to send him into one of the trees.

When he couldn't get up the man with the gun yelled furiously.

The other, bigger man grinned sadistically.

The kick to his abdomen was unexpected and painful, he had never been hit that hard before.

The order to get up was repeated. He tried but couldn't seem to move. Unfortunately the kick was repeated too. He coughed, unable to breath.

The man with the gun pointed at the bag Alphonse had not previously noticed.

The large man seemed to understand.

He gaged Al, who couldn't protest if he wanted to and stripped Al's shirt off. Then he opened the bag, extracting rope and what looked like a horse whip. Al tried to get up again but couldn't.

Why was this happening? Was it something to do with his past?

He tried to clap his hands together despite his broken wrist but the man with the gun stepped painfully on his hand. Al was certain that what little healing had taken place over the last week had just been undone.

The large man forced him into a sitting position and tied his arms around a tree in such a way that his hands could not touch.

"Your not getting the chance to do your witchcraft boy." The cold voice spoke in heavily accented English.

How did they know? He panicked. He had been so careful. Heiderich didn't even know, the only one that did was his brother. Then it dawned on him. He had thought that his older brother had given up, decided to leave him alone but that wasn't true. Ed had gone for revenge.

His cry was stifled by the gag as the whip cracked against his back.

The rhythm was steady and hard. The man didn't have any qualms about using all of his considerable strength.

Alphonse whimpered not caring anymore if they got what they wanted. Maybe they would leave him be. This was not the case.

Tears streamed down his cheeks. He felt something warm and wet on his back that he knew to be blood.

It felt like his back was on fire but surely that would hurt less.

It felt like the skin was being torn off as the whip left him.

Sweat ran down his to mingle with blood, the salty droplets adding to the pain.

He couldn't even cry anymore his throat was so hoarse from trying to scream.

Pain still seared him from being kicked and every time contact was maid he stiffened and the pain was amplified in his stomach.

Would he die out here? Just because he had an ability that they couldn't accept?

His vision was blurred. His body becoming numb.

Merciless unconsciousness took him.

XXX

They were still there when he awoke.

It had started to rain.

He found he had the strength to sit up. Every movement hurt but he forced himself up this time when the command came.

They made him walk in front of them to the road.

The other man had already pulled out a gun of his own and left. They weren't at the house but had passed so it didn't occur to him that Heiderich could be in danger.

Al had been working at the rope, it cut into his skin but he didn't care.

Finally the rope loosened enough for him to get it off.

Al leapt to the side and forward, avoiding the gunfire and hit the gun out of the mans hand, sending it flying. He pulled out a whip of his own that Al hadn't known he had and brought it across Al's thought.

Alphonse fell to his knees. Mouth opening and closing. He began to choke, blood came up when he was able to cough.

Al gasped. Feeling his neck his hand came away red.

He realized that the cold voiced man had made the mistake of going to look for the gun. He hadn't been expecting Al to recover.

He silently walked up behind the bent over man. It was over quickly.

Al pulled on his shirt wincing as it rubbed against his fresh wounds. It was a thick black sweater he had thrown on to ward off the cold. He hated the way the high neck rubbed against his newest injury but there wasn't much he could do. He needed some form of protection when he looked for the other man.

A gunshot echoed through the forest.

_Heiderich! _He mouthed, no sound came out.

He ran as fast as he could through the trees. He shouldn't have been able to run like that considering his injuries but worry for his lover filled him with numbing adrenalin.

Heiderich had his gun, he had gotten to the second man before Al. He must have heard the first gunshot.

The thunderous look on Heiderich's face said that he had been told why they were there and wasn't happy about it.

Al slowed, stopping in front of him. "Wait in the car." He turned and went back inside.

Al had never heard Heiderich sound like that before. Devoid of emotion, eyes looking past him.

For the thousandth time that evening he complied.

Heiderich didn't take long. He dropped a suitcase on the floor in the back.

Al looked at him questioningly.

Heiderich pulled out onto the road. He didn't look at Al as he spoke. "It isn't safe here anymore, if we stay they'll find you. I made a phone call. Someone owes me some favors, he's going to get us some fake identification and find somewhere for us to stay." After that he didn't talk to Al unless he had to.

XXX

Alphonse lay on his side on the couch, his face pressed against his balled up coat. All he wanted to do was sink into the oblivion that beckoned him. He would be free of pain finally.

So he forced himself to stay awake.

He felt so guilty about not telling Heiderich everything.

The blond was mad. Even more so then when he had gone through the cupboard after being told not to.

Heiderich was in the bedroom. Al knew he wasn't sleeping, he just wanted time to steam.

Al was scared. The darkness was getting harder to resist. He hadn't told Heiderich and was beginning to regret that. He had stayed silent not because of the fact he wasn't sure he could speak in the first place but because he had feared even more displeasure.

Heiderich walked out of the room, anger still swirled around him but it had lessened.

Seeing Al on the couch sudden worry replaced the anger, he had been to upset to make sure Al hadn't been hurt. There was something about the way he was laying, the way he had carried himself when he walked.

He all but ran to the couch.

"Al?" He whispered. Al didn't respond so he assumed he was sleeping.

He had to make sure. Carefully he gripped the bottom of Al's sweater and began to pull up.

A hand grabbed his wrist.

Al looked at him, tears and pain unable to dull the determination in his eyes.

But Heiderich was more determined and he was the one to win. Al let go and went back to pressing his face into his coat.

Heiderich lifted the shirt.

What he saw made his expression turn from annoyance to horror in an instance. Al's breathing quickened, he realized that it must hurt to have the shirt stripped away.

He only then thought of the fact that Al had not made one sound since before everything happened.

With a sinking feeling he reached up and pulled down Al's neckline. He swore under his breath.

He stroked Al's hair.

Al finally brought his face away from the coat.

"Shouldn't you lie on your front?" Heiderich asked.

Al's eyes widened almost unnoticeably and he shook his head.

"Why?"

Al opened his mouth before remembering he couldn't talk so he closed it again.

Catching on Heiderich slipped a hand under Al's shirt and gently probed.

At the first touch Al curled up, squeezing his eyes shut.

Heiderich got up and went to the phone.

When he came back Al was ashen.

Heiderich tightly held his hand and was relieved that Al held on too. "I called Dr. Cavanagh, he's going to come and help. He promised not to tell anyone and he said he'll take care of the cat."

If the doctor did talk then they wouldn't be able to escape a second time. There had been no choice, he knew that if he wasn't seen to soon Al might not be able to recover.

XXX

The doctor came, alone.

He looked nervous.

"Some men came to the hospital. They asked about Alphonse. They wouldn't say why they were after him but I know that boy couldn't have done anything to get them after him. I told them I didn't know where he went after he left." Cavanagh babbled.

"Thank you." Heiderich really meant it. Most people would have been to scared not to talk.

The doctor looked touched. "Do no harm." He said as he was shown in.

Al was still on the couch, he had fallen asleep.

Cavanagh went through the motions and checked him over first. Pulse, pupils, etc. He had gotten a description of what was wrong from Heiderich.

Laying his bag on the floor he opened it and brought out a pair of long thin scissors.

He cut away Al's shirt and cleaned and disinfected the cuts.

"What on earth happened to him?"

Not having been there at the time and with Al in the state he was in Heiderich explained what little he knew.

The doctor carefully probed Al's injured throat.

"What's wrong?" He asked seeing the doctors look.

"I can't be sure right now but he may never get his voice back. The odds will improve greatly if he has surgery."

Heiderich looked devastated. "But we can't risk going to the hospital."

"I know but it's to dangerous for me to do anything here. You'll have to wait and see from there, it could go either way."

The doctor deemed that Al didn't have any serious internal damage but he didn't want Al to so much as sit up. Not that he would be aware enough to do so right away.

He stitched what needed it and bandaged the whip marks on Al's back.

They took turns watching Al. He still hadn't woken up and though he hadn't said anything the doctor seemed worried about that.

Heiderich shook him awake. "Something's wrong."

He got up in a flash and went to the boy. He was completely white now, even his lips had lost their colour.

He felt Al's forehead and repeated the steps he had taken on first arriving.

Heiderich waited, not sure what to do.

"Let's get him to the bed." The doctor suggested.

Heiderich easily picked up the brunette. He tried to pretend that it was like before but that was impossible.

He carefully lay Al on the bed and covered him with the blankets.

The doctor came back with more blankets and put these over Al as well.

"We have to warm him up."

Heiderich left the room to light the fire place.

"You should get in there with him."

Heiderich stared at him oddly. "What?"

"Body heat will help keep him warm better than most anything else we can do."

Understanding dawned on him and he climbed in, rubbing Al's arms then wrapping his own around him.

Cavanagh unsuccessfully scoured the apartment for anything else that might help.

He smiled when he knew Heiderich wasn't looking.

The two fit together perfectly.

Heiderich had been so worried. Much more so than concern about some kid that had come to stay with him.

It was quite obvious from not only this but also seeing them before, how much they cared for each other.

Of course he understood their reason for keeping quiet.

Strictly speaking he should abhor them but love was something that he found beautiful no matter the situation. One couldn't chose who they cared for after all.

He thought of a pretty nurse waiting for him back at the hospital.

Yes he understood quite well.

He went back into the bedroom to check Al's pulse.

He was still worried him self actually. The poor boy had taken a lot.

Al's skin was cold to the touch but he though he seemed a bit better.

Heiderich asked him if more body heat would help. He said he supposed it might and Heiderich asked him to get in too.

He really was surprised. Alphonse's unpleasant turn must have scared Heiderich more then he thought.

He got in the bed, Alphonse between them.

Every once in a while he checked Al's pulse until it finally started to become more steady, even if it was still weak.

Al woke up. Heiderich was pressed against his back. He could feel his lips against his ear.

Dr.Cavanagh lay in front of him.

He knew Heiderich was awake.

He tried to turn over but gave up right away.

He looked at Heiderich confused then pointedly at the doctor. He tried to ask, having forgotten again that he couldn't. When that failed he pointed at the sleeping figure.

Seeing Al like this made him want to cry. He explained what had happened, that the doctor had been helping them, he told Al about the fact that he might not get his voice back.

Al's mouth formed a silent O of understanding. He indicated through gestures that he would need paper and something to write with.

Heiderich agreed to find something later then told him to settle back down.

Al bit his thumb in thought.

Heiderich pressed his forehead against the back of Al's neck. Tears blurred his vision.

One would think he was taking things worse then the one inflicted but he knew that Al would have a thousand thoughts and regrets going through his mind right now.

XXX

The doctor left them the next morning.

Al was awake and there wasn't anything he could do by staying so he left a list of orders and some supplies.

Al gave him a note before he left. He read it when he got to the car.

_Heiderich will need this, I think he's almost out._

Underneath was the name of a medication.

He wondered why Heiderich had never spoken of this before, he was a doctor after all.

Then again he was his friend too.

So much was happening.

**Footnotes!**

It's just so fun traumatizing Al... Poor rapeable Alphonse. He should have gone with Heiderich.

I ended up working on several scenes for chapter three and four. "Bad self! Bad!" Slaps wrist.  
Self "But I can't help it!"

I know I started with Al's alchemy then left it but he uses it later in the story and I want you to know where he stands with it. And yes. -.- Heiderich has magical powers that involve happening to know people that can supply him with everything they need.


	4. On The Run

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me.

Author Note: If you've gotten this far then you already know how it's rated.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**On The Run**

Heiderich had been taking care of him for the past week. He wasn't allowed to get out of bed but he was feeling better.

He wondered if Heiderich was having any luck finding a job.

Al had decided that as soon as he could he would try to get one as well.

Dr. Cavanagh had come by when Heiderich was away.

He had taken out Al's stitches and told him to take it easy, he figured it couldn't hurt for him to stay in bed for another few days, and even then to try not to be up to long or do anything strenuous.

Heiderich sat at the end of the bed.

Al waited expectantly. Heiderich was staring at the wall sorting his thoughts.

Finally Heiderich spoke. "I'm sorry. I should have made sure you were ok instead of acting so stupid... What if you hadn't gotten better? You lost a lot of blood. I was so sure you would..." Heiderich couldn't finish. He bent his head so Alphonse wouldn't see the tears forming in his eyes.

Al hated seeing him like this. For the first time he really realized what it meant to not be able to speak. Not be able to comfort his friends, or argue over something stupid like theories or to laugh.

He picked up the notepad that Heiderich had gotten him not long ago and hastily began to write.

_You are being stupid!!! How could you have known? And I'm going to be fine anyway. You had every right to be angry! I know I should have told you but I was scared of what you would think. So maybe we were both stupid._

He rapped his knuckles on the bedframe to get Heiderich's attention and handed him the note.

He placed a hand on Al's leg and read.

He laughed "I think you're right."

Al took the note pad back. _I'm always right!_

Heiderich took the pencil and added a note of his own. _Ich liebe Dich_

Al handed the pad back. _I love you too._

Heiderich carefully pinned Al to the bed and kissed him lingeringly.

Al heated the kiss up by slipping his tongue in when Heiderich's lips parted.

Heiderich lifted himself far enough up so that he could see Al properly.

Al noted Heiderich was flushed. He probably was too. That was the first time they had kissed in a while.

He wrote down what he wanted.

Heiderich read then asked "Are you sure you're ready?"

Al pulled him back to him.

Heiderich was as gentile as he could be.

It was slow and so perfect.

XXX

Al had finally convinced Heiderich that he was better.

He didn't like being treated like he was made of glass. He was mostly better right? Even if the doctor had said that he still should be careful he hadn't said to lay around and do nothing.

Of course Heiderich wasn't there when Cavanagh came by. If he had been Al would still be laying in bed instead of sitting in front of the fireplace.

Al had lost touch with how much time had passed since they got here but it was much more then a few days.

He hoped to convince Heiderich to do one more thing. He knew it was getting to the blond as much as it was him.

The fact that when they were together he had to be aware of every move was making him irritable. It had been fine at first but now...

Alphonse wanted it to be like before, even if it was only once.

So he went to work convincing Heiderich that fine meant fine.

XXX

Al untangled himself from the sleeping blond and headed to the bathroom.

He coughed and spat in the sink watching the red swirl down the drain, he hoped the sound of the running water had drown out the cough.

He looked up at his pail face. It wasn't so bad, but he looked much worse then he felt.

It had been worth it though. He splashed water on his face and turned off the tap.

He went through the cabinet looking for the painkillers but couldn't find them, they were probably in the case the doctor had left for them.

As the pain steadily got worse he had to give in and admit that maybe it _hadn't _been a good idea after all.

Heiderich wouldn't be happy, Alphonse shouldn't have left out the doctors visit.

He could hear Heiderich in the living room. Or kitchen, they were both part of the same room so he wasn't sure. He wondered when he had gotten up.

Al left the small bathroom.

Heiderich glanced up and might as well have sighed. Al could tell he was disappointed. Al would rather have had him annoyed.

The blond opened a drawer and dropped a small bottle in Al's hands.

Al dumped two pills into his palm and downed them without bothering with water.

Heiderich kissed him lightly. He understood why Al had said he felt better. They both had needed it.

Frowning he held Al's chin in his left hand and told him to open his mouth.

He used his finger to swab the corner of Al's mouth. It came back red.

"Bed, now."

Al wanted to argue.

"_If you don't get in that bed right now I will make you."_

Al reluctantly, but quickly, returned to bed.

Now Heiderich did sigh.

Al wasn't allowed up again for three more days. During that time Heiderich stayed more then an arms length away unless he had to.

He slept on the couch to avoid temptation.

They used that time to study a book on sign language. Heiderich had gone out of his way to find it and used money they couldn't afford to waist to buy it.

Heiderich wanted Al to be able to communicate in a situation that he couldn't write notes. It also helped in day to day conversation.

Heiderich understood the meaning but hadn't bothered trying to use it. He was surprised by how complicated it was. He had though it would only involve the hands but motion and expression had to be taken into account. It was like a language in and of itself.

XXX

Eventually he felt it safe to let Al up again but he didn't let Al coax him into any decisions unless he asked the doctor first.

It was hard for Cavanagh to get away from work, the hospital was far from their new apartment so they had to settle for the phone.

Heiderich would describe Al's symptoms and progress and the doctor would give advice.

The day that Al had blood in his mouth after 'strenuous activities' with Heiderich the blond had called Cavanagh and explained what happened.

Al had been embarrassed. He hadn't thought that Heiderich would ever discuss things like that with anyone else. He supposed that just showed how serious Heiderich was that Al recover.

Al was sure that Heiderich wouldn't have been this watchful if it weren't for his voice.

XXX

Time passes and Heiderich let him have more and more freedom, eventually even letting him go out on his own.

Al was beginning to worry about Heiderich's health.

Heiderich was spending so much time caring for Alphonse that Al feared he would forget to take care of himself.

And with that thought came the ever present knowledge of Heiderichs illness.

He still held the vague hope that Heiderich would get better. He was determined to find a way to save him and he knew that the answer lay in his memory.

XXX

He had heard about a girl named Noah.

After a lot of trouble he tacked her down and convinced her to help. It she was suspicious of him at first but gave in. Al had one of those faces you couldn't resist.

There were no pleasantries. Strait to the point.

Noah explained that she had to touch him for it to work. A dim light swung overhead in the cramped kitchen. She grasped his hand after giving him enough time to back out if he wanted.

Images flew by, hard to grasp anyone and the knowledge that came with them all at once was overwhelming.

Alphonse could see them too. They blurred, going to fast and he tried to catch them, study them. It was to much at once. He felt himself blacking out.

XXX

Al awoke in an unfamiliar bed.

He was only aware of the hand when it left him.

Sunlight danced off her dark hair. She must have been there watching his memories.

Sunlight?

He looked at the window, wondering.

"You've been here all night. I never saw anything like this before. It never effects the one touched and I normally only get a glimps."

He didn't know how it worked so he couldn't offer up any ideas.

"He'll wonder where you are. You had better get back."

Of course she would know that too if she had just seen all of his memories.

And he did remember. Everything was comeing back as if a fog had lifted.

He wrote a note and gave it to her.

"No, there's nothing you can do. Just don't tell anyone about me."

They shook hands and he left, hoping to get home before Heiderich found he was still gone.

Of course he knew in all likelihood Heiderich would have noticed the night before.

He hardly had enough time to close the door before he was enveloped in the others arms.

Grasping Al's shoulders he studied him. Something had changed but he couldn't point out what.

"You're not hurt are you? What happened?"

Al did his best to explain.

"Did it work?"

Al nodded. _There's a lot I need to tell you. _His hands faultered. _I'm not sure you're going to believe it, I_...

Heiderich grasped his hands to make him stop. "Of course I'm going to believe you. I know you wouldn't lie."

Al tried to think of where to start. He began to move his hands a few times then stopped.

"What about starting with why they were after you? They said that you had performed magic."

_Not magic. Alchemy._

"Alchemy? But isn't that just mixing chemicals and things like that? I didn't think anyone still did that."

Al shook his head

"There's more to it? Can you show me?"

Al bit his thumb. If Heiderich accepted this then everything else would be easier.

He clapped his hands together and placed them flat on the floor.

He felt the cement beneath them responding, there was plenty to work with but he didn't need much. Something simple.

He pulled up and in his hand was a perfectly round cement ball.

He looked up at Heiderich who was a little pail.

Al let him process what he had just seen.

"So, all you need to do is clap your hands?"

Al began quickly explaining. _Normally you need a transmutation circle but I saw the gate so I don't need one._

"Transmutation circle?"

Al drew one on his pad and showed Heiderich.

_Most alchemist need to use this._

"And you don't need to use one because you saw a gate?"

_The gate is where you go when you die, and it connects my world and yours._

"Your world? But that's... There's only one world."

_See, I told you you wouldn't believe me._ Al started to move away but Heiderich grabbed his arm.

"No, I'm sorry. It's just a bit much to take in. So why did you see this gate?"

Al's eyes widened and he looked away. _I saw the gate when we tried to bring our mother back._

"What do you mean? Bring her back?" But he thought he knew already.

_Our dad left when I was little, I didn't even remember him but Niisan hated him. A few years later mom died. We learned alchemy and we _were_ taught by a women named Izumi. We went home when we though we had learned enough. That was when we made the biggest mistake of our lives. We tried to bring our mother back to life._

Al had stopped. His eyes were empty, remembering another time.

"What happened?"

Al reluctantly came back to the present.

_It didn't work. What we brought back... It wasn't her, but we still had to pay the price. That was when I lost my body. It must have come to this side if Cavanagh says it's been here for that long. Niisan must have thought it was taking my life in exchange for hers and I think in a way it was. So he managed to hold on to my soul and attached it to a sute of armer. We-_

"Armer?" It was hard to imagine his little engel as armer.

_Well the only other option wasn't very pleasant._

"And you could control it? You could move?"

_Yes, but I couldn't feel. Or eat or sleep. It doesn't sound very bad but there were so many times I wished he had let the gate have me. He felt so bad after. He spent all his time trying to find a way to get me back to normal and get his arm and leg back. We decided that we wouldn't try to bring mom back again. It had cost to much. He joined the military and became a state alchemist. We wanted to find the philosophers' stone. But what we found out almost made us stop. To create the stone you needed to sacrifice human lives, and not just a few. If that was what it took we weren't about to use it. But we thought we could find another way. As it turned out others wanted the stone too and they didn't care about the humans needed. In the end the stone was created. _

From the look on Al's face he knew how it was created.

_We got it. One of the people that was trying to create it fused it with me to save me from the bomb. _Al smiled bitterly. _I have horrible luck don't I? But after we got it Niisan was afraid to use it. If we used up the stone it would disappear and since I was the stone we didn't know what would happen. We couldn't even touch because it would cause a reaction. He thought of a way to use it's power to amplify our alchemy and reconnect my soul after told him I didn't care if I disappeared and would do it anyway. And I ended up here without my memory and you know from there. Niisan must have figured out what happened and came through the gate to find me. I think what he gave up wasn't something physical. I know that what he did he never would have done otherwise._

"But it wouldn't have changed him entirely. What he did he must have wanted before going through the gate."

_There's a difference between wanting and doing._

The hard look Al gave him left him sure that there was no room for argument.

He thought of anything else to ask. "What exactly is alchemy anyway?"

_It isn't magic, it's science. You can't make something appear out of nothing. If you have the right materials then you can make what you need or you can shape something_ He indicated the floor. _To make something else made of the same material._

"I suppose that all explains how you acted when you woke up."

Al looked confused.

"You couldn't sleep at night, that must have been because you weren't used to it. And then there's the fact that you weren't used to the feel of things. You touched almost everything you passed, and then there's that time you almost burned your hand."

_You wouldn't let me in the kitchen for a week after that._

"A week?" Laughter danced in his eyes. "I thought I said you couldn't go back in at all."

_Well I was hungry. _Maybe everything would be alright. Heiderich hadn't acted as he feared he would.

_So you don't mind?_

"No, of course not. What did you think I would say?"

_I don't know. I was afraid you would hate me for it._

"How could you think that? I could never hate you! Think of everything that's already happened. I'm still here despite all that."

_That's true. I suppose I should have thought of that._

_XXX _

Al was absently looking out the window when he saw two black cars park across the street. He recognized them as belonging to the people they were hiding from.

He needed to get the blonds attention but Heiderich was facing away from him.

He didn't want to knock on the window and get the people on the streets attention so he did the first thing that came to mind.

He threw his note pad at him. It missed but did get Heiderich's attention.

"What was that for?" He looked annoyed.

Al pointed out the window.

Heiderich came over. Seeing the cars he grabbed Al's hand and left the appartment. Instead of going down stairs he went up.

He opened the door to the roof. Icy wind and snow blasted in.

He had hoped for another way out but there was none. The nearest building was seven meters away. He wasn't about to take the chance and try to jump unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Can you do anything?" He asked Alphonse.

Al clapped his hands together and created a bridge between the two buildings. They climbed over and repeated the step until they thought they were far enough away.

Al clapped his hands once more and brought four walls up around them and a roof.

It kept the wind out but didn't help much with the cold.

He saw that Heiderich was shaking. _You don't have your medication do you? _It was hard making the signs with his frozen fingers but Heiderich understood.

"No, I don't need it right away though. It doesn't help much anymore anyway." Heiderich pulled Al against him. "I'll be f-fine."

Having thought of a way to keep warm Al wrapped his arms around Heiderich's neck and kissed him passionately. He tried to suppress the shivers that went through his own body as he finally started to feel the cold.

They peeled off their wet clothes and Al found himself on his back, not caring about the freezing floor.

He felt wet kisses trail down his neck, suckling.

Al pushed Heiderich onto his back and took him in his mouth.

"Oh god Al. D- don't stop."

Heiderich moaned and pressed Al's head down further.

Alphonse held Heiderichs hips steady. He took him deeper into his mouth and felt the blonds fingers tangle in his hair, holding his head in place. He came into Al's mouth.

Al sat between Heiderichs legs, eyes half close and dark, flushed and aroused and he licked his lips.

Heiderich pinned him down and roughly entered him. Al squeezed his eyes shut. Words formed on his mouth and Heiderich brought his own down to savage Al's lips.

"I love you." He said huskily.

Looked for something to grab on to, his hands finding Heiderich's shoulders.

They forgot about the men that were after them and about the cold.

Heiderich groaned as he found his realease, Al hot and gasping beneath him.

He rolled off leaving Al to recover.

They were warm again.

Al got Heiderich's attention and weakly signed. _We can't stay here forever. _

He didn't relish going back out into the cold but there wasn't much choice.

"Right. We'll find somewhere else then. Maybe we can stay with someone."

They pulled on their still wet clothes.

_But we don't know who told. I don't think it's safe._

"Well we can't just check into a hotel." Heiderich snapped.

_I don't know what to do ok, but I don't want to walk into a trap._

Heiderich pulled Al closer, pressing his cheek against his soft hair. He realized that the stress was getting to him, but that wasn't an excuse to yell at Alphonse.

Al rested a hand on Heiderich's chest.

He reluctantly stepped back. _Ready?_

"Yes."

Al put everything back to normal.

The wind had stopped and the snow fluttered prettily down to earth.

They linked hands. Staring up at the full moon

Al looked preoccupied. "What are you thinking."

_It's stupid._ Al blushed.

"If I say anything just remind me that I was the one who asked."

_I was just thinking that if we went through the gate no one would be after us and- and you would get better._

"I thought you had to pay a price though."

_To get someone back yes, and even then you don't really get _them_ back. To open it, just to pass through. I think there's a way around paying. From what I've seen I think that if you're near death when the gate is called then you can go through freely because it was going to show itself to you anyway. The loophole is that you show up on the otherside healed._

"You don't know for sure, it's not worth it."

_I said it was stupid._

It was obvious what Al wanted to say. _You're worth it. _He wasn't about to let Al risk himself for his sake.

"Lets go find somwhere to stay."

There was a fire escape and they used that to get to the ground.

Aimlessly wondeing the streets seemed pointless but there wasn't much else they could do.

The sun had begune to rise.

Al had started to feel exposed.

Heiderich pulled him to a stop. "There's a library there, you can wait inside, I have to go do something.

_I want to stay with you!_

"I won't be long I promice."

Al gave him a dirty look and went to the library, for the first time in his life wishing it didn't open so early.

XXX

Heiderich left to find a way out of town. He didn't want Al around the people he was about to go see.

Al entered, a white haired woman sat behind a desk piled with books.

She looked up, eyes peering at his face then slipping down to glance at his body then back to his face.

He felt himself turning red under her scruntity.

"Sorry." She said laughingly. "I thought you were a girl."

Al's brow formed a V. He crossed his arms.

She just laughed. "Come over here."

He stopped at the otherside of her desk.

The woman rested her elbows on the desk and tented her fingers. "Now what can I do for you?"

_Physics _He signed without thinking.

She stood. "Right over here."

He pulled on her shirtsleeve. _You understand._

"Well of course, I've read every book in here. There happens to be one on sign language righ over there."

He supposed that made things easier at any rate.

She stopped infront of one of the many bookcases. It was filled with more books on physics then he had ever seen.

She was staring at him again. "Has anyone ever told you that you're very pretty?"

Al felt himself turning even redder. Someone had actually but he wasn't about to say so. He wasn't sure if she was complimenting him or not.

"I can't help but think I've seen you somewhere before. Ahh that's right. A short blond fellow came round a while back asking if I had seen his little brother. I asked why he had been looking for him here and he said that you liked librarys. He had a photo of you. Poor bloke seemed desperate."

Al fished out the picture of the two of them before he had lost his body and showed it to her.

"Yes, that's the one. So he found you then?"

He tucked the photo away, nodding.

"That's good then." She wondered off, letting Al settle down and read.

He couldn't get passed the first line without thinking back. Ed had come here looking for him. Al hadn't been there then but he had shown up after they had met up again. By accident too. It was odd how things work.

Hearing voices he peeked around the shelf and retracted his head right away.

How had they found him? He quickly looked for a place to hide. There was a leather sofa against the wall he pulled it out thinking to hide behind it. He found that if he went from the back he could hide under it.

He managed to get the couch back in place from underneath, a lot hadrer then it sounded.

The voices came closer.

He lay perfectly still on his stomach, holding his breath. He was sure they could hear his heart beating.

"But they said a boy matching his description came in here."

"They were probabaly still half asleep. This is obviousally a dead end, librariean said no one was here."

The voices receeded.

He waited, wanting to make sure.

He heard heel come over. "You can come out, there gone."

He placed his feet on the couch and his hands on the wall and pushed then scrambled out and slid the couch back against the wall.

"That shelf over there pulls out, there's an old office we dont use anymore behind it, you can go out the widow. They might still be watching the front."

He couldn't think of how to say thank you in his panic so he hugged her and went through to the office.

The window stuck for a moment before giving and oppening. It was big enough for him to get through.

Once he was outside he ran. He didn't stop untill he was to whinded to continue.

He ducked into an ally to catch his breath.

Al realized he was lost, he wouldn't be able to find his way back to the library if he tried.

He hoped Heiderich saw them and didn't go to the library to find him, then again they might not even be there anymore.

Al retreated to the back of the ally and sat between a dumpster and the wall, hidden from view of the street.

He yawned, realizing how tired he was. It was hard to keep his eyes open now that his heart had finally settled and he wasn't moveing around anymore.

He was shaken awake.

Al looked up into concerned blue eyes.

Warm lips met his, beating back the numbness.

His mind worked sluggishly, he tried to ask how he had found him but he couldn't move his hands.

Heiderich grabbed them and held them in his own hands trying to warm sensation back into them.

"What were you thinking falling asleep in an ally in the middle of winter?"

Giving up Al mouthed the question.

It was easy enough for Heiderich to guess. "How did I find you? You weren't at the library so I asked if she had seen you. She wouldn't say anything at first but I think she figured out that I didn't wan't to hurt you. So she showed me the way you left by. I looked down a few of the streets that branched off from there, I knew you wouldn't get far on foot but still... It was more luck then anything I found you."

Heiderich sat against the wall and dragged Al over.

Al rested his head against Heiderichs shoulder and fell back to sleep.

He was hardly aware when Heiderich picked him up to find somewere warmer for them to settle down.

XXX

Al woke up wondering where he was.

It looked like an abandoned building. He was on the floor wrapped in a worn blanket.

Heiderich was keeping vigill at the window. Making sure that nothing seemed out of place in the night.

Al winced at the stiffness in his back as he sat.

Heiderich didn't look well.

Al went over to him, touching his arm to get his attention.

_You should get some rest. I'll keep watch._

Now was when Heiderich normally took his medication. Al hoped that he had been telling the truth when he said that it didn't do much anyway.

He didn't know what to do. He needed Cavanagh to get more but how could he know if they hadn't gotten to him? What if he was the one that had given them away?

The thought of using the gate was growing stronger but he knew Heiderich would never agree.

The hours went by slowly as he stared at the empty street.

He thought he saw something move in the shadows but passed it off to imagination.

Until he clearly saw a figure at the end of the street.

They wore a cloak and he couldn't see who it was, just an indistinct shape.

Having a bad feeling, there was no reason for anyone to be here. It was clear no one had lived in this part of town for years.

He decided to wake Heiderich just in case.

He shook him but got no responce.

Heiderich was sleeping deeply and Al had used to wake him by making noice if it came to it but he didn't want to alert the figure to exactly where they were.

He shook him harded and finally Heiderich stired.

Al sighed, releived.

"What's wrong?" Heiderich pushed himself up.

_There's someone outside. Something isn't right._

"Are they coming here specifically?"

_I don't know._

Heiderich had trouble making out Al in the dark but managed to understand.

"Lets stay in here and see if they keep going."

They watched out the window, careful not to let themselves be seen.

Once the cloaked figure reached the exact middle of the street he clapped his hands together.

Al pivited and takled Heiderich to the ground. Debrie flew through the window where they had just been standing.

Could it be Ed?

There was no doubt that the fugure had used alchemy.

They hadn't used all the steps. They had broken material appart without reshaping it.

He knew Ed had done that before.

Al scrambbled to the window. Trying to make out the figure through the cloud of dust.

He saw them accross the street, it looked like they were going from building to buildind destroying them.

Heiderich grabed him around the waist, pulling him away form the window and into a run.

Another explossion sounded and they were nocked fom their feet.

"We have to get out of here before he does that to this building!" Heiderich had to shout over the noise, there was no chance of being over heard now.

They got to the back where the stairs were and ran out into the chill air and didn't stop.

The ground shifted and rose, spliting them up and surounding Al.

How was this possible?! The alchemist had been on the other street.

He was about to bring down the wall when a hard feminin voice spoke. "If you do anything I don't like I'll bring the walls together and you'll have to say goodby to your friend."

He stopped.

"Now you will answere all my questions. How is it that you got here?"

She brought her hands up parallel to eachother. "Answer."

Al stumbled forward a hand out and she brought hers closer together.

He froze.

"Now will you answer?"

He signed and pointed at his neck.

She grabbed his chin and tilted his head back studying the scar.

"You do understand that I have to make sure you aren't pretending."

It happened before he could even register her words.

She clapped her hands and placed them on his shoulders.

Light flashed and pain seared through him.

It felt like he was on fire.

The next thing he knew he was sitting in front of her. It was hard to breath, like the air had become thicker.

"If you could you definitally would have made noise."

Al clutched at his stomach, shaking uncontrolably.

She took something out and aimed it at the sky. Some part of him realized it was a flair.

Two more people came, one of them was the alchemist that had been destroying buildings. They had Heiderich at gunpoint.

He didn't recognize any of them.

"Did he say how he got through?"

"Can't talk."

"Really are you sure?"

"I heated all the water in his body." She directed the next to Al "It's a lot worse then it sounds isn't it?"

Heiderich ran to him. "Alphonse?"

"You can translate for us?"

"Yes." He didn't want Al to be hurt.

"Good then ask him how he got through."

"He can understand you."

She glared at him.

"Al? Can you answer?"

She clapped her hands together and touched Al's forehead.

"Stop it!" Heiderich pushed her away from Al. "How do you expect him to answer if you keep hurting him?!"

One of the others spoke. "We were told to keep him alive."

"I know what I'm doing!" She snapped.

"I'll answer for him until Al can for himself."

"Fine. Then answer."

He told her what Al had told him.

"And what's his full name?" She wanted to know if he was apart of the state or not. The german wouldn't know that.

"Alphonse Elric."

"Elric? Any relation to Fullmetal?"

Al weakly signed, Heiderich wouldn't know.

"He says that's his brother."

"You don't match the description."

"Philosopher's stone." Heiderich translated.

"The stone! Did you have it or did someone else use it on you?"

"He had it."

"Where is it now?"

"He doesn't know."

"Did it dissapear? Where was it? Was it in your hand and when you came through it was gone?"

"No."

"Then where?"

Al bit his lip then huriedly signed when she moved.

"It was inside him."

"How do you know it's gone?"

Al thought. "He doesn't."

"So it might still be in you and everytime you use alchemy you bring yourself closer to oblivion, knowing this will you still use alchemy?"

"Al!"

"What did he say?"

"If he has to..."

"Good."

Al signed.

"I don't think-"

Al signed again.

"He wants to know why you use your alchemy to hurt people."

She laughed. And bent forward to stare him in the eye. "What right do you of all people have to ask that. You who used the forbiden alchemy to your own gain."

"Forbbiden?" Heiderich asked.

Al stared at the ground.

"That's right. It is against the law to bring someone back to life. You go into the darker side of alchemy to do so. Countless people have died trying and countless have killed for that goal."

She forced him to look at her. "Then again you're here aren't you? And essentually that's what your brother did. He brought you back."

How could she know all this?

"That's not how it was. Al says he wan't really dead." He wished he didn't understand what they were talking about.

"Didn't you know?" She asked him. "You should have died as the price. Your brother did bring you back, your body didn't end up where it was supposed to but was perfectly resurrected. That's common enough but your soul is intact. That's what is so amazing about you. You're whole."

"Al says that his brother brought his soul back right away, the gate didn't hold it long enough."

"Did you know then?"

Heiderich looked at Al.

_Since I got my memory back I wondered if that was how it was._

"What!"

_I wasn't sure! I hoped that it wasn't like that._

"Why did you leave that out when you told me before?"

She cleared her throught "Well?"

"He thought about it but wasn't certain."

One of the others shifted from foot to foot. "We should continue questioning later."

They made them walk in front.

_Are you made at me?_

"No. Why didn't you just tell me before?"

_Because I didn't want to admit it. It's horrible, how can I call myself human? I'm no better then the humunculus._

"What exactly makes you different then someone that nearly died and was saved by medicine?" He sroked Al's hand "You're as warm as anyone else."

_Thanks._ Al smiled sheepishly.

"No conversing!" A voice called from behind.

They didn't speak again. They had said what they needed to anyway.

There was a loud _pop! _and smoke billowed around them.

They heard the three shouting.

Grabbing Heiderich's hand so they wouln't be sepearated he ran.

They could hear the alchemists following blindly.

All the streets converged on one spot. They were in the original part of the city, nearing the exact center.

Al thought they had lost them but ran anyway.

All at once the smoke was gone as they broke through the cloud.

They found themselve in the middle of a vast alchemic circle.

'This must be the one made by the ancient alchemists.' Al thought.

Al gapped at the figure that stood before them.

"Edward?" Heiderich sounded as astonished as Al looked.

**Footnotes!**

And things are getting more serious as the chapters go on. Don't worry, it won't stay that way. I have to have at least one more happy scene somewhere.

The question to ask is "Has Ed had a change of heart?" It's easy enough to find out. All you have to do is click _Chapter five._


	5. Equivalent Exchange

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me.

Author's Note: I have to torment Al a bit more, it's really is fun, you should try it.

Rated for violence lime and lemon.

* * *

**Chapter five**

**Equivalent Exchange**

"Smoke bombs" Ed explained. "Weren't expecting me?"

"Why? No offense but you're the last person I would expect to help Al."

"Who says I'm helping him?"

"What?"

Ed was coming closer as he spoke.

"I thought about it for a long time and finally came to a decision. I want you Al and if you don't comply then I'm going to make sure that no one else ever does."

"You have to know the answer."

"I thought so."

Ed leveled the gun at his head. And fired.

"Al!" Heiderich pushed Al out of the way.

He stood in front of Al.

"There's an idea." Ed speculated, turning the gun to Heiderich. "I don't care if either of you live so if you don't do what I say I'll shoot him. And you," He said to Heiderich. "If you try anything it'll be Al that pays."

Alphonse had never seen Heiderich this angry.

Ed grinned sadistically at his little brother. "Come here."

Al walked over to stand in front of Ed. Touching Heiderich's arm reasuringly as he passed by.

Ed didn't shift the gun from its position on Heiderich.

"I wouldn't do anything, are you willing to take the chance I'll miss?"

He saw the last light of confrontation leave Al's eyes.

Ed grabbed Al's arm with his free hand.

He kissed him. Making sure not to lower the gun. When he was done he hit Al hard enough to send him to the ground.

Heiderich started forward.

Ed shot in front of his feet. Effectively stopping him.

"Remember. Right now the only thing keeping the two of you alive is how happy I am."

Al stood back up.

"This time respond." Ed kissed him again. "Good. Was that so hard?"

He took Al's hand and placed it against his chest, sliding it down.

Al stiffened.

A man walked out from one of the streets.

"It would be hard to do what I want to do and still keep the gun steady so this nice man is going to help in return for my alchemic services."

Ed passed the gun to the nameless man, who held it level with Heiderich's chest. He moved so he wasn't too close to Ed and Al.

"Now Al, undo your shirt."

Right now? In front of Heiderich? He couldn't do that...

Al shook his head and Ed hit him again. Al felt dizzy.

"Then you won't mind if we shoot him?"

Tears streamed down Al's cheeks. He complied reluctantly as if hoping that something would save him if only he had more time.

"Al..." Heiderich's soft voice was clear in the silence.

Alphonse glanced over at him and knew that Heiderich would forgive whatever happened.

Ed pushed the shirt off as soon as if was undone.

He slid his hands over Al's smooth skin.

"Don't forget to respond, last time was a bit bland. I want you to do for me what you do for him." He tilted his head to the blond.

Ed stripped his own shirt off and ordered Al to finish getting undressed and lay down.

Al bit his quavering lip.

Ed had the audacity to smile at Heiderich before kneeling between Al's legs.

He coaxed Al into wrapping his legs around his waist.

Al was shaking from trying not to cry. He placed his hands on Ed's shoulders, nervous and unsure.

Ed nibbled Al's lips, kissing him and exploring with his mouth, prolonging the anticipation.

Al wanted it over with.

After what seemed like an eternity Ed entered him. He wasn't gentile.

Al whimpered.

Ed devoured his mouth. He repeated the command for Al to respond.

And Al did. He wished that he didn't have to, he wished Ed would let him sink into oblivion, distance himself. Or that the shot Ed had aimed at his head hadn't missed.

Al didn't have the luxury to let his mental defenses work. He was aware of every painful moment.

Ed shuttered with release. Finally parting.

Al rolled away, gathering his close to himself

"Anything to say little brother?"

Al's glare said exactly how he felt.

Ed laughed.

"Oh and did I say you could move?"

Al looked surprised.

"Didn't you think I might want more?"

More? Al mouthed.

"Just for that look I think I will."

Al sobbed when Ed roughly pushed him back down.

Al turned his head away and closed his eyes, blocking out the image of his older brother.

He could feel his will slowly draining away, leaving him empty.

Al began to sob uncontrollably.

This time Ed got dressed when he finished.

"There, was that really so bad?"

Al stared blackly to the side.

Ed walked over to the other man as Al hastily pulled his clothes back on.

Ed left. The other man followed, only taking the gun off of Heiderich when he had reached the road.

He had gone through all that trouble for this? Did Ed hate him that much?

As soon as they left Heiderich ran and gathered Al to him.

Tears sparkled on his lashes.

Al turned away and coughed, then was ill.

Heiderich rubbed his back.

Al wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

_Have to find somewhere safe. _He signed.

"Al. I should have done something..." He was still rubbing Al's back in slow comforting circles.

_You would have been shot! Do you think I did that because I wanted to? If the only one to get hurt was me then I would have gladly taken the bullet instead! __I didn't want you getting hurt! If you had done something they would have killed you and it would have been pointless._

Heiderich was silent. He looked guilty.

_We have to find somewhere safe to go._ He repeated.

"Can you stand?" He asked pulling him up.

Al nodded, steadying himself.

They started towards the edge of the circle when they heard an all too familiar voice.

"Did you think you could get away that easy?"

Al turned towards the voice, fed up.

Heiderich stopped him from attacking the three alchemists.

"Pointless remember?" He murmured.

Al wondered if things would ever let up.

He knew that as soon as they got what they wanted out of him they wouldn't need Heiderich anymore. If he didn't do what they wanted they would kill him to make a point.

Al walked just far enough away that Heiderich wouldn't be able to stop him.

_I'll be there soon._ He signed then clapped his hands together and placed them on one of the lines of the circle.

"Al!"

Pink light surrounded him and he disappeared.

Al knew he would be alright. His illness would act as the loophole price, if it worked Heiderich should appear on the other side, healthy.

"Hey!" He heard the feminine voice shout. Shots fired.

Al clapped his hands together again.

Pain exploded in his back and he was laying face first in the center of the circle.

What they didn't know was that he had planed that to happen, he needed to be near death too.

Al woke up slowly. Heiderich lay beside him.

For a frightened second Al thought something had gone wrong but then Heiderich woke up to.

"Where?"

Al looked around. It was the same circle he and Ed had used when trying to get his body back.

_Welcome to my world. _He grinned.

"So it worked? There aren't going to be anymore people after us? We're safe?"

_Well if Winry has a wrench in her hand duck. Winry! No one here knows I'm back to normal, and I've been gone all that time. They must be worried._

If Al still had any of the stone left in him it would have been used up.

XXX

It didn't take them long to get to Central. Al explained that from here they could take the train home.

Alphonse seemed nervous. The train wasn't going there for three days.

"Do you want me to phone for you?" Heiderich asked, watching him pace back and forth in the small inn room.

Al nodded vigorously.

Heiderich held the received and Al dialed.

"Hi is this Winry Rockbell? I'm with Alphonse right now."

He held the phone away from his ear and she shouted. He understood something about not calling sooner and how dare he not call in person, going and making someone else do it.

When she had calmed he finished what he was saying. "There are some things you should know." He explained that Al had gotten his body back but had lost his voice. He also explained that Al had only recently gotten his memory back. He answered her questions and reassure her that Al was alright now.

After the call Al had seemed relived.

_There's somewhere we have to go tonight. _He hadn't gone to see Mustang yet.

Ed had left his watch when he left and Al had kept it in case it turned out to be useful.

XXX

They stood on the steps of the state building. Armstrong was passing by.

Al got Heiderich to get his attention.

Al held out the watch to him.

"Why that's Edward watch!"

Al signed and Heiderich translated.

_You probably don't recognize me. The last time we met I was a lot taller._

"Alphonse?" Al was amazed that Armstrong had guessed so quickly. He was gathered into a bear hug. "We had begun to worry something had happened to you!"

Heiderich could tell that Al would have been laughing if he could.

"And who's your friend?"

Heiderich introduced himself.

"Any friend of an Elric's is a friend of mine!" He shook Heiderich's hand vigorously. "I'm Lt. Alex Louise Armstrong." He flexed his arm and went on about his muscles. Then asked if he had ever witnessed the artistic alchemy passed on through generations of Armstrong.

Al just shrugged and smiled.

"Uhhm, Al wanted to see the colonel."

"Of course! How careless of me! Right this way! I'll make sure no one bothers you." He marched them to Mustangs office.

Heiderich couldn't help but think that he would be a good mach with the percky nurse.

Armstrong rapped on the door and announced in his dramatic voice. "Alphonse Elric is here to see you sir!"

"Send him in."

"Good luck." He winked as they entered.

Mustang took one look at Al and said "What did you boys do?"

Al told him everything (through Heiderich), except what happened with Ed. Just saying that his brother had been changed and he didn't know where he was right now.

XXX

Finally the train pulled to a slow screeching stop. Winry and Pinako waited for him.

"Al!" She cried, hugging him. "You're not a little kid anymore. I don't understand, where's Ed? The two of you are never far from each other."

Al went ashen.

"Has something happened to him?"

Heiderich was talking to Pinako so Al took out the note pad. _You know that you have to give something up to use the gate right? I think that it took part of him. He seemed normal at first but then things changed. He_ Al stopped writing. Not sure how to continue.

Winry snatched the note from him.

"He what Al?"

"Ed hurt him." Heiderich said. Realizing what they were discussing.

"What! Ed would never do that! Are you sure it wasn't an accident?"

Al's hand went to his thought. If Ed hadn't told about him then this would never have happened. He took his hand away quickly, hoping she didn't notice.

He took the pad back. _Without a doubt._

"I'm sorry Al..." She knew how much Al had lost. More so then if something_ had_ happened to Ed.

They went back to the house and Pinako made dinner getting Al to help her.

Winry had the goal of figuring out more about this mysterious person that had shown up with Al.

"Why does Al trust you so much?" She asked bluntly.

"After he forgot everything he stayed with me. We lived together pretty well since he went missing."

"Alright then. But you came all this way with him and haven't complained once. Why not let him go? He can write what he needs to say."

"I love him."

"Oh. Ohhh." Winry blinked. "Does he know?"

"Yes."

"And he feels the same?"

"Yes."

She thought of the fact that they had been living together for that long, most of the time alone. "OK! You guys have to keep the door open at night!"

Heiderich laughed. "So did I pass your test?"

"I guess." She said slyly looking at him from the corner of her eye.

XXX

Heiderich lay on his back, lounging on the bed. Al sat beside him a pensive look on his face.

They had been staying here for quite some time. Al said it like his own home. He didn't have one of his own but Winry was like a sister to him.

_Will you miss your home?_

"It was a place where I lived. It was never really home."

Al looked confused. _Then where's your home? You have to have one somewhere._

_"_I do. It's wherever you are." He pulled Al on top of him and kissed him.

Winry's voice came from downstairs. "You two had better not be doing anything!"

Al blushed and sat back up, giving Heiderich a 'later for sure' look.

Al thought of something. _You came thought the gate, I wonder if you can do alchemy._

"One of us doing it is enough!"

_I bet you'd love studying it._

"Study?" This had gotten his attention.

Winry poked he head in the door suspiciously. "Didn't I say you couldn't be on the bed at the same time?"

"We sleep in the same bed anyway."

"Only because there isn't anymore rooms." Was her reply as she left.

"There's an idea." Heiderich pulled Al back down.

"OK! That's it! OUTSIDE!" She reprimanded, back in the door again.

"Ok." Heiderich grabbed Al's hand and they started out.

"I didn't say _do _anything outside!" She smiled to herself. She didn't think she had ever seen Al this happy. Not since they where children.

XXX

Heiderich was outlined by the moonlight as they made quiet, gentile love.

They were sure that Winry had to know if they were sleeping in the same bed it was bound to happen.

Al didn't bother trying to say anything at night because Heiderich wouldn't be able to see.

It didn't matter, there was nothing to say that they both didn't already know.

When Winry had complained about her suspicions to her grandmother Pinako had just shook her head and said. "To be young."

Al moved so that Heiderich had better access.

Things seemed so perfect. Al had started teaching Heiderich about Alchemy and had shown him some books. The blond had said that study and practice were two different things. He wasn't so sure about actually doing it.

Al had made it his goal to get Heiderich to try at least once.

Everything was moving along well.

Heiderich wasn't sick anymore and had reminded Al that Cavanagh had said to have a doctor check him from time to time to see if he was recovering. Al didn't feel like there was anything wrong with him, it wasn't like he couldn't communicate at all.

Heiderich cared about Al wether he could talk or not but he wished he could hear him moan again, hear his sweet voice turn husky. The little things he had taken for granted. Even just to wake up and hear Al say 'Good morning'.

What he had was more then enough.

Being able to touch him, to see Al's brown eyes filled with love, see him smile. These were things that sound couldn't effect. The thought of any of that changing made speech seem trivial.

Al gasped when Heiderich released himself inside of him.

It was clear it took everything Heiderich had not to make a sound.

Heiderich quickly kissed him before settling down. His lips brushing Al's neck.

"I love you."

Sometime later they got dressed again, Winry had a habit of walking in without knocking in the morning.

Heiderich held Al close. "I was thinking. Maybe we could get a place of our own."

Al liked the idea. A home that was both of theirs, equally.

Somewhere that they could spend the rest of their lives, that they could make love as loud as they wanted.

Was this equivalent exchange?

After everything he had been through, not just recently but through out his life, was he finally going to be allowed to live normally? To be happy?

XXX

Winry let herself in, about to loudly announce that it was time to wake up.

She saw that they were cuddled together. Al had his palm against Heiderich's chest, his face beside it.

They looked adorable.

She had come to learn that Heiderich didn't wear a shirt to bed. He had told her that if it bothered her then she should learn to nock.

Of course then she wouldn't get to see him shirtless.

She took in the difference between the two. Heiderich was attractive. He had the sort of muscles that girls loved. Not to much but not skinny either. There was nothing harsh about him though. He was strong and sweet at the same time. His eyes where something you could get lost in for hours if you wanted to.

Then there was Al. He had a soft, almost feminine body. He could easily be mistaken for a girl. He had the sort of cuteness that you wanted to touch. As a girl she could safely say that he was just as attractive. Not every girl wanted someone strong. She had to admit that every time she saw him she got the urge to touch him and see if his skin was as soft as it looked.

If they were free she would have gladly settled with either.

She shook her head, mentally beating away the thoughts with her mental wrench.

She got closer, bending over so her hair almost brushed Al's hand. "WAKE UP.!!!" She grinned as they started awake, Al rolling over and falling of the bed.

"Don't do that!" Heiderich groaned.

He checked over the side of the bed to make sure Alphonse was ok.

Al eventually managed to get into a sitting position. He yawned and waived happily at her.

"He doesn't seem to mind." She said in self defense.

_Mind what?_ Al looked around. _Why am I on the floor?_

"Because you fell off the bed."

Al gave him a look and Winry giggled

She slipped out of the room before Al guessed that it was her fault.

XXX

After much complaint and begging not to from Winry, Heiderich and Al had finally found a new home.

It wasn't far so she could come and visit any time she wanted.

It had one bedroom with a bathroom in it, another bathroom downstairs, a kitchen and diningroom, a drawing room, and most importantly; a cozy study with a huge fireplace.

The Rockbells had loaned them some money to go towards payment and Al had a fair amount of money he had saved up from all the traveling he and his brother had done and from the paychecks the state had given them. Ed had given him something along the lines of an alowance.

Heiderich got a job to work toward paying Pinako back and Alphonse repaired things with alchemy.

XXX

Al walked in. Heiderich was on the phone, his feet on the desk.

"Saturday? Yes. Thank you, so much."

He disconnected.

_What was that about?_

"Remember? I told you that you need to see a doctor."

_But the doctor here is away, who were you talking to?_

"The colonel from Central. He agreed to have the state doctor have a look at you.

_Saturday? Is a train leaving before then?_

"The doctor is coming here, colonel Mustang said he wanted to come see how you are too. I think he wants an excuse to get out of there for a bit."

Saturday came and so did Dr. Hollel, Mustang and Sciezka

As it turned out both the Dr and Sciezka knew sign language. The doctor because of his profession and Sciezka because she had a identic memory and read every book that crossed her path.

The doctor had mad everyone wait in the drawing room and he examined Al in the study.

He checked the marks on Al's back, tisking.

Lowering the shirt he undid the top three buttons.

He examined the scar and probed. He made Al opened his mouth and shone a mini flashlight in.

Heiderich got up when the doctor came out.

They went across the room to speak in private. Mustang and Sciezka straining to overhear.

"I can do surgery to make it so that it doesn't pain him anymore but I'm afraid that he'll never get his voice back. Maybe if something had been done right away there would have been some chance."

"He never said it still hurt ."

"Do you want me to do the surgery or not?"

"As long as he's ok with it."

The doctor disappeared back into the room, he didn't come back out for several hours.

Heiderich would walk to the door, pause with his hand on the knob then turn away.

When the doctor finished he was greeted by three worried and curious people.

"He's fine, everything went well. I gave him some sedatives so he may seem groggy."

"Can I see him?"

"Yes, yes. Of course."

He held a hand out, stopping Mustang and Sciezka. "One at a time."

Al had a bandage on his neck and was sitting on the rugs in front of the fire.

"Shouldn't you be laying down?"

Al stared at him blankly.

_What?_ His movements were unsure.

Heiderich sat next to him. "I asked if you should be laying down."

_Ok_ Al curled up, resting his head on Heiderich's lap.

_Why does-_ He sopped and made a face.

"Why does what?"

_What?_

Heiderich sighed. Al could act so confused, or confusing, when he was tired. "Go to sleep."

_Ok._

Heiderich watched the flames dance in the fireplace.

He felt a tug of his sleeve.

"Mmm?"

_I love you._

"I love you too."

_Good._

Al finally went to sleep.

XXX

Mustang then Sciezka visited Al when he woke up. He was more coherent by that time.

Sciezka stayed to visit with Winry. Mustang and the doctor left but not before Mustang let Al know why he came.

Mustang offered to 'unofficially' keep Al on the payroll. He could be the states representative in Resinbool. He would basically help people out that needed it, he wouldn't have to charge people to fix things any more because the state would pay him. He would also be in charge of making sure that alchemic law was not broken and also teaching alchemy to anyone with promise.

He agreed.

XXX

Heiderich watched Al, three children varying in age sat infront of him

He marveled at how easily Al communicated with the kids, for the most part they understood what he wanted to get across and if they didn't he would write it down.

For the first time he found himself wondering about kids.

Would Al regret that they would never be able to have any that were their own? Al had never said anything and he seemed content but they were young. What if the thought occurred to Al like it had to him?

After the lesson was over and they were alone again Heiderich decided to ask.

_Not particularly. Not right now. I like children but it's different when they're yours, ask me again in a few years and I'm sure I will but you don't have to worry about it. I love you and I'm happy with the two of us. Besides, we could always adopt._

Heiderich wondered about the years to come.

The one thing he knew for certain was that he loved Alphonse and never wanted to let him go.

He held Al close. Showing him exactly how he felt.

Heat clashed and they knew they would never tire of each other, would never stop finding out new things about one another.

They made love infront of the fireplace, books and childish writings scattered around them.

Not everything would always be perfect but who wanted perfection anyway?

They had each other.

* * *

**Footnotes!**

I changed the sorry no extera chapter to a ohh look, an extera story. -.- Don't ask how that happened. I'm already working on a bunch of other stuff so Don't expect it to be done right away. That is if you made it through this one and havn't run away. .

I hope you all liked my fanfic. Don't forget to comment!


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